sometimes i doubt my ability to feel for other people - to fill the soles of their shoes and walk around for a few minutes in their lives.. seeing the world through their eye, feeling their lives through their hearts.
some people are incredibly good at comforting and doling out big hearty chunks of empathy.
i just realized that for all sometimes i think i have the emotional capacity of a shoe, once in awhile i surprise myself when the strangest things make me crack and ache inside.. the smallest things like a sad story, the presence of a greater presence in my life ;) and yes, even.. fried hornets. :P
today was one of those cold gloomy days that seemed to reflect my mood inside.. where the skies felt swollen and heavy, waiting to pour out torrents of rain that might, if not wash away the dryness, provide some relief for its escape. the clouds would be puffy and high again, not low and bloated. this morning i had an overwhelming urge to declare that i was sick, and curl up in my sheets..haven't done that in a long long time. i got up wondering what today would be like xD whether i would be lost in my own thoughts and remembered..SHIT ._. results! started praying about getting my marks back (for the first time in a long time, the possibility of failing gripped me and let me just say, it was an awful couple of minutes where there was a big knot of tension in my stomach.) is it strange, all at once sometimes, to feel your heart sink so low it feels like it's in your tummy.. and your neck and shoulders to hunch under an invisible weight?
still, it's good to know that there are bigger ideas to grasp, weightier problems than mine (really, i don't quite know
why i'm still being so stupid over some things) but again, today was one of those days where i indulged in a good book and a heartfelt sobfest. it was bound to come anyway.. i could practically feel it as i walked around in school today, the closing of my throat when i thought of something, the prickling behind my nose..at least i had an outlet. if u haven't read it yet and are a certified bookworm, try My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. i'm so glad hasna told me about it because it was on many levels one of the most challenging books i've read in a loooong time.
ha, and i wonder where all these depressing thoughts are coming from.. and i
think i might just know.
or maybe i'm just growing up xD
ok, before anyone thinks i'm unbearably emo, today was pretty good. other than being dead tired from that weekend away..it was fabulous (the weekend that is) i managed to really escape and away from all the distractions open up my heart and search for God xD
and also.. im like +10 skill in JENGAJENGAJENGA / mafia / spoons xD ha.
to make up for the emo shit people had to deal with in the first half, here are some long overdue photos!~
i swear i have mad friends.. today was like a boob-smacking fest, even dev got his boobs (or lack of) LOL or manboobs smacked ._. i was violated several times by a bottle.. (what are you thinking ;) ) nah i was just stabbed violently in the chest by one of my mad friends.
this is her.. i know, i have a hole in my stockings, i look like a ho..well according to melina.
melina : you look like a ho.
melina looks like the queen of thrush.
i know my friend here looks quite normal but really she's nuts. why are we standing on the table? cuz i had this overwhelming urge to just jump around on school tables.
xD
i know, i can be incredibly embarrassing too. hah. the truth is i missed my english class cos i forgot it started early. LOL.
see.. proof. testament to the fact that she is undeniably quite mad. the person beside her is me. my excuse is that the sun has a strange effect on me.
the other day i went to pat's church for cafe night..=)
slime who has now insisted on calling me fluffyhead =( and maggiepoo :)
romy.. since i've met romy, i've defined all koreans by her looks xD nah.. jk.
cafe night was relaxing, stress free. just a night of fun and fellowship.
funfunfun!
or maybe more..;p
a coupla nights ago, dinner with the girls at TGIFs even though it's not friday lol.
i like to lick people xD
this was supposed to be a round faced photo, so technically only me and melina qualified, but gloria insisted she has a round face and jumped into the photo too. -_-''
....yeah, no shit :P
i have nothing more to say ..sigh.. people from china *shakes head sadly*
i duno. just looks retarded ._.
typical photo by the two biggest photowhorers in the group.
and more.. i was pretty hungry, except her hair was oily so after doing that i wasn't quite as hungry. =\
rahah.
i know .. greedy greedy ._.
does this look familiar?.. LOL..
i had an urge to jump on her.. so i did. xD the poor girl.
then i got a 'piggyback' lol
yay group photo.
bumming at home later..
the weekend away at phillip island..
xiu, xin, miche.
we cooked! well, some of the girls did. I MADE THE CARROTS..!
yeah.. i said
made :P carrots require lots of skill. the knife was so blunt that i got a good workout out of chopping carrots.. and these carrots were like.. giant carrots. once i pressed down with all my weight and the carrot finally snapped and flew everywhere in big carroty chunks ._.
what a beautiful day it was... it's days like these that make me so glad i live in australia.. i wanted to jump around and yell at the top of my lungs xD i sorta did. lol.
we went down to the beach for fish and chips.. man, the unhealthiness of it all :P the fish is half eaten because
i michelle got hungry. evidently we weren't the only people that were hungry because the sky was soon swarming with a thick flock of gulls just cawing nonstop eyeing our food. i learnt something new from mike - that you can tell the age of seagulls by looking at their eyes..
chris knelt down to take a photo and almost in unison, half the people chucked their chips at him. HAHA
look at his horrified expression as the seagulls swooped down on him. those birds are so hungry and desperate that one tried to snatch a chip off ed's shoe.
group photo
guys will be guys.
jess and miche #2.
the guys preparing breakfast. i took one look and started getting hungry.. strawberries and nutella.. YUM ;)
alright..that's it everyone. the verse of the day is
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
i know it's gonna be a long week but at the end of every day there's someone to take my burdens away! in that i must learn to be gentle and humble in heart .. and find rest for my soul
and with that.. bye everyone.!
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
this is her.. i know, i have a hole in my stockings, i look like a ho..well according to melina.
see.. proof. testament to the fact that she is undeniably quite mad. the person beside her is me. my excuse is that the sun has a strange effect on me.
slime who has now insisted on calling me fluffyhead =( and maggiepoo :)
romy.. since i've met romy, i've defined all koreans by her looks xD nah.. jk.
funfunfun!
or maybe more..;p
i like to lick people xD
this was supposed to be a round faced photo, so technically only me and melina qualified, but gloria insisted she has a round face and jumped into the photo too. -_-''
....yeah, no shit :P
i have nothing more to say ..sigh.. people from china *shakes head sadly*
i duno. just looks retarded ._.
typical photo by the two biggest photowhorers in the group.
and more.. i was pretty hungry, except her hair was oily so after doing that i wasn't quite as hungry. =\
rahah.
i know .. greedy greedy ._.
does this look familiar?.. LOL..
i had an urge to jump on her.. so i did. xD the poor girl.
then i got a 'piggyback' lol
yay group photo.
bumming at home later..
xiu, xin, miche.
we cooked! well, some of the girls did. I MADE THE CARROTS..!
what a beautiful day it was... it's days like these that make me so glad i live in australia.. i wanted to jump around and yell at the top of my lungs xD i sorta did. lol.
we went down to the beach for fish and chips.. man, the unhealthiness of it all :P the fish is half eaten because 
look at his horrified expression as the seagulls swooped down on him. those birds are so hungry and desperate that one tried to snatch a chip off ed's shoe.
group photo
guys will be guys.
jess and miche #2.
the guys preparing breakfast. i took one look and started getting hungry.. strawberries and nutella.. YUM ;)