holidays are here.
after looking forward to them for months now, it seems totally overrated.
why?
i made a list of all the work i need to do these holidays.
holiday, my ass. it's a freaking .. boot camp, that's what it is.
i lost abit of the excitement when i realized just how much there was to do. yesterday i borrowed seven chunky books that i thought i was gonna have the chance to read. now, i'm not too sure if i'll end up reading them at all..
bottom line: holidays with homework, no money, no entertainment book, no taiwanese dramas (ok this was clearly my own fault since i refused to start watching any of them thinking i'd get sidetracked) no good movies.. the list goes on.
*SIGH*

tertiary information session today at deakin uni in burwood ._.

deakin is so much nicer and newer than melbourne uni. lol.. i guess they gotta have something to make up for the lack of reputation.

picked up 2008 course guides and had a small info session.. it fully hit me then that in about a month i will be filling out a preference list, putting in my choices for twelve courses at uni. oh man, i am so not ready to commit to a career path for the rest of my life. nevertheless, when i first heard 12 i thought.. 'where am i gonna find 12 preferences?' but after browsing through the brochures i discovered i can easily fill up 12 choices just between melbourne uni and monash uni.

the question is in what order.

the first few are pretty obvious.
1. Bachelor of Commerce/Laws - Monash Uni, Clayton.
ENTER : 99.00

loool.. i know i'm not going to get 99.00 but one can always hope lol.

2. Bachelor of Commerce - Melbourne Uni (parkville obviously.)
ENTER : 90.00

i guess i can always do postgrad law if i really want to.. the question is, will i want to? lol.. no harm in deciding in three years - i wouldn't mind the extra year in postgrad law, the only requirement is a higher than 75% of the cohort ranking weighted between three years..and by the way, this is the course i'm really banking on getting now because if i don't get 90.. well..

..let's just not talk about if i don't get 90. -_-'' i might be disowned or grounded all summer.

3. Bachelor of Commerce - Monash (Clayton)
ENTER : 90.35

this is another option of being cheap and getting into com in monash first and then studying my arse off to transfer to com/law in second year. the only problem with monash is i don't think mom will be too happy to drive to to clayton all the time (where the heck is clayton lol) and by first year i won't have my full license yet.. still on my L's.

4. Bachelor of Arts/Commerce - Monash
ENTER : 93.45

this one greatly appeals to me although like.. i don't quite know how arts and commerce fit together but it is so me..and i suppose i could get that if i studied really hard.

5. Bachelor of Commerce (major - Accounting & Finance) - Monash
ENTER : 91.45

this seems achievable, thing is.. i don't know whether i want to do accounting / finance / economics or even actuary..

6. Bachelor of Arts/ Law - Monash
ENTER : 99.05

-_-' don't know how this one goes together either but heck, i'm not worrying coz i won't get that score.

7. Bachelor of Law - Monash
ENTER : 99.00

._. i duno. these days, a straight law degree just isn't enough.

8. Bachelor of Arts (Media & Com) - Melb.
ENTER : 90

LAST YEAR THEY'RE OFFERING IT! don't know where it'll take me.. media industry in asia i suppose but it's.. competitive and hard to do well.. but it's been my dream.. :(

9. Bachelor of Arts (Journalism) - Monash
ENTER: 86.10

._. doesn't sound that great .. this is probably just filling up space. i'm skeptical... journalism sounds great, but.. i dono.

10. Bachelor of Arts - Melbourne
ENTER : 85.00

'nuff said. i guess that leads on to human resources.

11. Bachelor of Arts (Languages) - Monash Clayton
ENTER : 84.65

i like languages.. but i don't know where this degree will take me. perhaps work as a translator or something lol.. doesn't sound all that fun. :(

12. Bachelor of Accounting - Monash Clayton
..don't know the enter.

or maybe arts in monash. i'd need 86.00

RAAAAAHH *tears hair out*

what should i do.. what do i want to do.. what will i be gifted at? :( where will it take me?

verse of the day :

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. [Proverbs 3:5, 6]”

i want to watch 'selena' i remember watching it in year seven in the music room, bawling my eyes out. xD

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

sometimes i doubt my ability to feel for other people - to fill the soles of their shoes and walk around for a few minutes in their lives.. seeing the world through their eye, feeling their lives through their hearts.

some people are incredibly good at comforting and doling out big hearty chunks of empathy.

i just realized that for all sometimes i think i have the emotional capacity of a shoe, once in awhile i surprise myself when the strangest things make me crack and ache inside.. the smallest things like a sad story, the presence of a greater presence in my life ;) and yes, even.. fried hornets. :P

today was one of those cold gloomy days that seemed to reflect my mood inside.. where the skies felt swollen and heavy, waiting to pour out torrents of rain that might, if not wash away the dryness, provide some relief for its escape. the clouds would be puffy and high again, not low and bloated. this morning i had an overwhelming urge to declare that i was sick, and curl up in my sheets..haven't done that in a long long time. i got up wondering what today would be like xD whether i would be lost in my own thoughts and remembered..SHIT ._. results! started praying about getting my marks back (for the first time in a long time, the possibility of failing gripped me and let me just say, it was an awful couple of minutes where there was a big knot of tension in my stomach.) is it strange, all at once sometimes, to feel your heart sink so low it feels like it's in your tummy.. and your neck and shoulders to hunch under an invisible weight?


still, it's good to know that there are bigger ideas to grasp, weightier problems than mine (really, i don't quite know why i'm still being so stupid over some things) but again, today was one of those days where i indulged in a good book and a heartfelt sobfest. it was bound to come anyway.. i could practically feel it as i walked around in school today, the closing of my throat when i thought of something, the prickling behind my nose..at least i had an outlet. if u haven't read it yet and are a certified bookworm, try My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. i'm so glad hasna told me about it because it was on many levels one of the most challenging books i've read in a loooong time.

ha, and i wonder where all these depressing thoughts are coming from.. and i think i might just know.
or maybe i'm just growing up xD

ok, before anyone thinks i'm unbearably emo, today was pretty good. other than being dead tired from that weekend away..it was fabulous (the weekend that is) i managed to really escape and away from all the distractions open up my heart and search for God xD

and also.. im like +10 skill in JENGAJENGAJENGA / mafia / spoons xD ha.

to make up for the emo shit people had to deal with in the first half, here are some long overdue photos!~
i swear i have mad friends.. today was like a boob-smacking fest, even dev got his boobs (or lack of) LOL or manboobs smacked ._. i was violated several times by a bottle.. (what are you thinking ;) ) nah i was just stabbed violently in the chest by one of my mad friends.
this is her.. i know, i have a hole in my stockings, i look like a ho..well according to melina.
melina : you look like a ho.
melina looks like the queen of thrush.
i know my friend here looks quite normal but really she's nuts. why are we standing on the table? cuz i had this overwhelming urge to just jump around on school tables.
xD
i know, i can be incredibly embarrassing too. hah. the truth is i missed my english class cos i forgot it started early. LOL.
see.. proof. testament to the fact that she is undeniably quite mad. the person beside her is me. my excuse is that the sun has a strange effect on me.
the other day i went to pat's church for cafe night..=)
slime who has now insisted on calling me fluffyhead =( and maggiepoo :)
romy.. since i've met romy, i've defined all koreans by her looks xD nah.. jk.
cafe night was relaxing, stress free. just a night of fun and fellowship.
funfunfun!

or maybe more..;p
a coupla nights ago, dinner with the girls at TGIFs even though it's not friday lol.
i like to lick people xD
this was supposed to be a round faced photo, so technically only me and melina qualified, but gloria insisted she has a round face and jumped into the photo too. -_-''
....yeah, no shit :P
i have nothing more to say ..sigh.. people from china *shakes head sadly*
i duno. just looks retarded ._.
typical photo by the two biggest photowhorers in the group.
and more.. i was pretty hungry, except her hair was oily so after doing that i wasn't quite as hungry. =\
rahah.
i know .. greedy greedy ._.
does this look familiar?.. LOL..
i had an urge to jump on her.. so i did. xD the poor girl.
then i got a 'piggyback' lol
yay group photo.
bumming at home later..
the weekend away at phillip island..
xiu, xin, miche.
we cooked! well, some of the girls did. I MADE THE CARROTS..!
yeah.. i said made :P carrots require lots of skill. the knife was so blunt that i got a good workout out of chopping carrots.. and these carrots were like.. giant carrots. once i pressed down with all my weight and the carrot finally snapped and flew everywhere in big carroty chunks ._.
what a beautiful day it was... it's days like these that make me so glad i live in australia.. i wanted to jump around and yell at the top of my lungs xD i sorta did. lol.
we went down to the beach for fish and chips.. man, the unhealthiness of it all :P the fish is half eaten because i michelle got hungry. evidently we weren't the only people that were hungry because the sky was soon swarming with a thick flock of gulls just cawing nonstop eyeing our food. i learnt something new from mike - that you can tell the age of seagulls by looking at their eyes..
chris knelt down to take a photo and almost in unison, half the people chucked their chips at him. HAHA
look at his horrified expression as the seagulls swooped down on him. those birds are so hungry and desperate that one tried to snatch a chip off ed's shoe.
group photo
guys will be guys.
jess and miche #2.
the guys preparing breakfast. i took one look and started getting hungry.. strawberries and nutella.. YUM ;)

alright..that's it everyone. the verse of the day is
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

i know it's gonna be a long week but at the end of every day there's someone to take my burdens away! in that i must learn to be gentle and humble in heart .. and find rest for my soul
and with that.. bye everyone.!

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

PRUNE JUICE



for the constipated =] u know what to do now! just thought i'd share cos u mum is perpetually concerned about the regularity of our (family's) toilet trips..

and she always forces bananas (EUGH BANANAS) down my throat cos she claims that it makes u shit..

NYEH NYEH.. prune juice > bananas.

digressing.. prunes are gross too.

AIII-EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the few stages of nervousness :
1) perpetual urge to go to the toilet, when really, bladder is all empty. ( i swear it was, coz i didn't drink any water this morning.)

followed by.

2) drinking excessive amounts of water. (after i realized i hadn't drunk anything.)

then when i really had to go the test started. -_-''

3) cold sweat/heart hammering, feeling light headed etc. cannot stand still

anyway i hear you ask 'how was the test??' (eh or maybe, i'm just deluding myself pretending that whoever reads this cares.) lol.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *shifty look*









I WONT FAIL! :D









oh psht. who am i kidding. :( i guessed about.. 2 questions, and then with a margin for careless mistakes and this one question where i saw it and went.. 'HUH ._.' then proceeded to scratch around for twenty minutes uselessly trying to figure it out.. i'd say maybe i lost like, ten marks already.

..well, at least it's over. i guess i am consoled by the thought that even if i had done more studying, i wouldn't have come across a question like the one where i got today...so.. ...

... lol. i'm good at this aren't i. (comes with the practice.)

my dad is very annoyed now, bcoz he wants the family to go on some ski trip at some random mountain and i refuse to go lah. too cold, can't be bothered, don't know how to ski, will do it next year, would love some alone time, not all that interested in the company.. yadda yadda.
so he's all cut at me now.

geez.. sometimes forcing 'family time' isn't the way to go.. i reckon it has the opposite effect for me, cos the more he's forcing it, the more i insist on not going. so now his plan is to make everyone stay home (and my sister wants to go) while putting the blame on me.

alrighteys..today's hurdle is over and tomorrow will be a new day! with another test. lol. so i guess i'd best start preparing.. right now. i told priscilla that if she heard somebody sobbing during the test, in all likelihood it would be me and that would mean i've just given up and decided i'm gonna go to tafe.

oh.. i think, i need a regular prayer partner.. :D

anyone..?

ok.! byebye!

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

..RARARARARAR

*grumble*

11.05AM on a sunday morning.. I SHOULD BE AT CHURCH
but nooo. everyone in my family isn't ready. it's so frustrating, i'm mildly tempted to just not go and go to another church tonight. cos by the time we get there, we have to slink in from the back as inconspicuously as possible, scurry to some backseat and melt into the background.
....................


RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

but the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
out of all the voices calling out to me
i will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe...

我需要学会放弃一些东西。。
我能告诉谁呢?谁能了解这种心情。。?
最后。。还会剩下谁呢??
我想慢慢地离开。。不要回头。

disappointment is one of the most useless feelings, ever.

Shows I'm watching after year 12.
-silence
-it started with a kiss
-meteor garden 2
-mars
-ouran high
-fruits basket
-magicians of love
-hana kimi
-love contract
-devil beside you
-full house
-dolphin bay

rahhhh lol.

we may not know what the future holds, but we can trust in the One who holds the future!

that was from Our Daily Bread last night.. i was gonna post it but my post self deleted.. so much for blogger auto-save *grumble*
i promise life will get more interesting after next tuesday! =\
oh well..
bAck tO sTudy...

this is a pointless post just to waste time.
i remember when i watched meteor garden in year ten (i know it was out very long ago but i just didn't have the chance to watch it ok!) anyway, i remember i kept wondering what it was about that stupid barbie hsu that made two hot guys chase her (vic zhou and jerry yan)

obviously i am biased towards jerry yan but it's only because he's got dimples. at the end of the day, guys with dimples win because barbie hsu chose jerry yan.

then later when the show ended she hooked up with vic zhou! i am so envious!

TWO hot guys! although one was fake..
sigh
a few years later (ok! i know mars is old too.) they sang a duet together in mars - 让我爱你
i was listening to it..it's my new song of the moment!

就让我爱你没有了自己
残破的光影黑暗中深深吸引
绝对地就算生命所剩无几
绝对地就算生命所剩无几

stuff like that -> corny in eng, classic in chinese.

i rmb those days i tried to photoshop myself with jerry yan once by placing
my face on barbies face T_T but her ears stuck out.LOL

anyway i am sososososoooo excited about the end of the year now that i know
so many people are heading down to singapore! aweeesome XD we can go shopping and
stuff ourselves silly :] yaaay

*hums* 就让我爱你..没有了自己...

i hope i get to watch like all the taiwanese series i missed and get my reading habit back.
been eating alot of strawberry hello pandas lately.. introduced to me by my niece and nephew
when they visited.

ok enough rambling :P

A Smattering of Photos
i like the sound of 'smattering.' even though it's probably not right but anyway.

exams are coming up and the stress is piling.. oh so high. T_T i swear, i have never in my whole life had so many pimples (even in singapore where everything is oily)
combined cold weather and stress makes me eat like a mini elephant ^_^ these days i'm alwaaaaaaays hungry - it should be a crime to eat that much, really.
nothing much is happening these days. everyone's caught up in the stress of exams and whatnots, and really, we all just can't stop thinking about it. so till the next 2 weeks is over, all work and no play makes us all very dull people.

however, stress does do funny things to people.
take maurice for example.
bunch of girls scream : 'maurice maurice!! HAVE MY BABIES!!!!'

no, i'm just joking.. maurice is weird all the time, so this photo is not really random.

the other day i went to the library to study with melina and gloria.
this is us when we were still sorta inspired to study
observe all of us studying.
after a few minutes..
gloria pulls out food. lol.
melina's hair is standing up very awkwardly. she looks pretty concentrated here.. but melina is never that focused on anything.

unless it's drawing one of her famous penises. -_-'' you can see a faint outline of another penis on the paper.

clearly melina can't get enough of penises.. cos she drew another one :(
2 hours of maths does this to you.

suddenly i remembered this childhood thing i used to do! so i picked up and pen and taught it to my friends.. hurhur..
THIS
IS
HIS
BUTT! well in primary school it was always butt but melina insisted on drawing penis.
even my little bear thingey didn't escape it. she tried to violate it.. the poor thing.



and LASTLY.. EXPLICIT PHOTO OF MELINA...........!!

nah. i promised her i wouldn't blog it.

okie.. that's all for short updates.
the other day tsun kit found a hair on his blazer and enthusiastically showed it to us.
TK : 'LOOK! it's a chick's hair!' *lifts up strand of hair*
me: -_-'' it could be ivan's hair for all you know. (ivan - long haired fob guy)
TK *looks disgusted + offended + disturbed* : WHAT.! i don't want it anymore! *gingerly chucks it away*
poor TK. was very downcast when he realised it could very well be a guy's hair.

ah well.
=]]
goodbye all.

i am very sad now.
:*(
*curls up into a ball*

Numb. Cold.

everywhere i went today it was chilly, freezing and grey. i was cold and sore and couldn't feel my nose or toes.

.. saw an ambulance bright and early this morning. the sirens cut through the serene stillness of the air and it raced by..life is very unpredictable isn't it?

i cried watching shrek lol.. the bit where princess fiona is about to marry the short dude. they played 'hallelujah'..

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

Cute Fluffy Animal Awards!

today's post is dedicated to cute fluffy animals.. take note if anybody wants to be super nice can buy me one of the following ..

first up! the puppies..
my very favourites are jack russels
because they are so short and pudgy heheh. also, i like them because they're neat unlike some dogs with fur all over their eyes and stuff. you can actually see their faces. plus they're small throughout their life, which is cool. small dogs are cuter!

this pair deserves a mention. awww. they look so furry and soft and cuddley and warm. i wish i was a puppy and i could snuggle with them.
2. Bunnies!
i put this one on purely because it is a good view of bunny ass. 'does my bum look fat??' hahahah it looks so.. springey. *boing boing boing*
he knows he looks innocent!
this one is trying to steal some easter eggs.
this bunny got eyeliner. i like it, very femme fatale sexy bunny.
this one has his tongue stuck out at you.
lastly..
praying bunny! this one is my favourite, he looks so sad and contrite.

3. Hamsters! hammy ham hamsters!
'i like a four course meal thanks.'
all the corn in the world makes me a happy hammy!
HAHA. GREEDY hamster stuffing his face.
4. KITTENS!
i loveeeee kittens! they are so innocent and lovable and charming and cute and eeeeeeeeeeeeek *faints*



JUST LOOK AT THEM!!! my dream when i retire is to own as many of these cute fluffy animals and they all live together in peace and love each other.! yayyy!

lately i've been addicted to tom and jerry.






don't ask me why but i'm charmed by jerry and stupid tom is well, stupid. they're such classics that they appeal to me even now .. or maybe i just haven't grown up lol but ahhh.. if anyone has time you guys should take a look at some old videos. makes me feel like the world is all.. happy and cutesy.