Take a deep breath, and let your mind soar

i realised that i haven't blogged for a long time! too soon, it's the end of our term 1 holidays.
haven't done any work. but one consoling thought is that dev tells me he's all partied out in the past week, and my other friends have been shopping so i can't be the only person who's been lazing around on my bum all week ;)

phwoar! but hurray! i heard POTO was fantastic.. i can't wait till it comes to melbourne..!!

congrats to janean and pat, who both got baptized this year.. God bless you guys!!i keep intending to get baptized but always chicken out somehow.. i need to figure out how to stop riding on spiritual highs and lows, and find an equilibrium to stay at.

truth be told, i have had alot of things on my mind lately. nothing new in my life, but just reflecting on and reviewing the way it is at the moment. things that i'd like to keep the same, and things that i'd like to change. and perhaps, things that have been left too long without reflection.

my cousins have been here lately.. it's been nice to have a "big family" - a good change from the quiet and usually reserved 4 person family dinners. its a warmer feeling to walk into a house alive with chatter and the smell of food, and ocassional bursts of laughter. even better to walk from room to room finding people there. i miss my grandparents alot now! another thing is i did manage to connect with one of my cousins for the first time.. even though we're not a whole lot alike, it's nice to talk to her like we're on the same level since we've never done that before..the age difference when you're younger is way more prominent but the gap sorta blurs as we grow older. and we were musing about how once my dad's generation passes, our generation will hardly ever make the effort to see each other. the family's so big that its a hassle organising gatherings and not everyone can make it.. and with a pang i realised that my kids would most probably grow up not knowing their relatives back in singapore. the bond that held my extended family together has unravelled since my aunt passed away.. and another thing that has been really different for me is just talking about my aunt. we rarely talk about her since she passed but having them here, the older ones always reminiscent brought back memories of my auntie.. and how i miss her so! she was the classic doting auntie who always had a lap for me to crawl into and cry on, and buy me the things my parents would refuse to.. and knock on my door to comfort me whenever i'd been punished.. :( it opened up old hurts that hadn't been visited in a long long time and regrets that i would change in an instant if i could do it all over again..i know for one thing, i wouldn't have avoided visiting her cos i was too scared to see her sick.

i really miss the listening ear and sympathetic shoulder my aunt or my grandpa would give me when i was at my wits' end with my parents. they were the only ones who really understood what it was like.. and saw how bad or naughty i could be and still love me anyway.. my grandparents are alot deafer now, so it's harder to communicate something private without yelling.

damn, now i reallyyy want a kitten.

school's starting. i need to reaaally get started on work. and be less absent minded. i did something stupid the other day, i walked away while waiting for someone.. and that person disappeared and i started walking around looking for them.. ringing their phone and not realising that the phone was with me too..

>.< i can be unbelievably dumb sometimes.

and i keep forgetting when i have my tuitions too..
this month's gonna be a busy month!

the formal's coming up in 10 days. :D woo! i took my dress to get a few minor alterations done. i have miss saigon on this coming saturday, and cirque du soleil 27th.

will take lots of fab photos!

Saturday, April 14, 2007 at 5:49 AM

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