Monday, February 26, 2007 at 12:15 AM
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what do u do when ur really really sad and disappointed..
when ur expectations are so far from where its really at..?
any suggestions OTHER than the usual emo slit wrist thing?
Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 4:50 AM
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1 thing most people don't know about me........
i have a fear of hurdles. no, not hurdles in life.. literal hurdles. i did them once in primary school and fell and sprained my leg. everytime i see a hurdle now i have this urge to run towards it like it's an unfulfilled thing from primary school.. but then everytime i visualize myself getting closer i just stop and my legs wont move.
huh. im such a chicken. i can't do real hurdles.. and i certainly back away from non-literal hurdles either..
anyways the formal details are.. *drumroll* (well this isn't confirmed yet but the rumours are going around)
GRAND HYATT ..
NIGHT BEFORE ANZAC DAY.. 24th APRIL.
$85.
....... yes yes i know so expensive *grumble* all the costs added up is going to make me poorer than those african children.
Thursday, February 22, 2007 at 10:33 PM
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i went for dinner at malaya inn today.
:(
everytime i go for dinner at malaya inn the stupid uncle who owns it always makes me feel super stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
last year he talked about how his daughter cried when she got 48 for bio T_T i immediately went home and resolved to get 48 for psych.. (but i didn't -_-'' okay i know i'm not that smart or that studious but anyhow) to beat the malaya inn uncles daughter!
i eventually got over not beating her.
then today he did it again!
he said his daughter did EIGHT HOURS PER DAY OF STUDY EVERY DAY.
wtf man. its like she doesn't eat/sleep/shit?! o_O
do the math. after school we usually start work around 4. (dawdle time already accounted for)
4 + 8 hours = 12AM.
SIAO!
Go to school for 6 hours come home and study another 8 hours then sleep ten hours ah?!what a psycho. i don't know if she even went near the computer or the tv or if she stayed away from it like it was a terminal disease ._.
eh cannot lah.. this crazy madwoman got into com/law at melbourne.
guess what yours truly wants to do??
yup. com/law.
:( i think i better start not eating/sleeping/shitting either. maybe she like.. has a bag under her chair for waste and a food plate in front of her to save time ..
.................
*grumble* stupid malaya inn uncles daughter.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 4:40 AM
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我 心 里 觉得 好 烦.. 不 知 为什么 当 一 个 人 在 你 心 目 中 占 了 一 个 特别 的 地位, 最 粗心 的 一 句 话 或 一 种 行为 可以 使得 你 一直 不停 地思考, 不停 地 伤心..最 奇怪 的 是 害 你 难过 的 人 却不 知道 他们 做 错 了什么.. 但 如果 他们 为 你做 一些小 事也可以 让 你 感到 非常 的 高兴.. 我为什么 要 在乎 呢?..
一 个 人 如果为 感情 付出 比 对方 多, 受的伤 痛 也 自然 会 比较 多..
:(
i am so tb right now complete with chinese typing. and i'm listening to firefly by a*teens.. lol
firefly come back to me.. make the night as bright as day, i'll be looking out for you...
Sunday, February 18, 2007 at 11:03 PM
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edit. i forgot to add a couple of things.
does anyone know a piano piece titled 'takumi' something or other? it's been stuck in my head.. the kind of melody where you open a toybox and it fills your mind with the feeling of cherubic innocence..
anyway, aaron had a deep and meaningful talk with me. i came home from tuition and he was already waiting at the kitchen to talk to me. and i didn't know what else to tell him apart from 'maybe she's the wrong person, it's the wrong time, trust in God, He'll find the right person for you' yadda yadda you know? i felt bad saying it in a sense because i'm a hypocrite.. i can't trust in God sometimes in my own life and here i was, glibly and blatantly telling aaron to do so. amidst the guilt and sleepiness (i was sooo tired and aaron went around in circles for ages).......... but at the end of it i didn't know how to make him feel better. i guess he's in a rut of self-pity.. ugh.
you know the feeling where.. it seems like your stuck in a moment in time and you can't move either way? and the whole world's just rushing by in a whirl..
..phwoar! feeling rather surreal now, just can't get my head around the past week. been going through every day monotonously without giving it much thought. my brain feels like it's gone on a holiday and is 'temporarily unavailable'
on second thoughts i'm a much happier girl now that we've moved on from trigonometry to complex numbers in specialist maths because i don't know how much more i could've taken of that nonsense. :( i swear i'm getting dumber by the year.. or maybe the questions are getting harder ;)
so like thursday ms shale calls 4 of us into her office for career counselling.
that woman is brilliant, i tell ya.
melina : i want to do nutrition!
shale *enthusiastic voice* : nutrition! there are excellent nutrition courses everywhere! especially in deakin and latrobe! (deakin and latrobe are .. like the kind of unis where if ur parents are strictly asian they would disown you for going there)
shale *brightly*: with a nutrition degree.. you can be a.... nutritionist!
the whole room fell silent as we pondered this abstract piece of information.
...no shit u become a nutritionist if u do nutrition.
then she moves on to me..
me : i want to do commerce/law at melbourne uni.
shale *grave tone* : you know its extremely hard and you have to get a top GPA to transfer into law postgraduate? why not try deakin or latrobe?
then she proceeded to talk about deakin and latrobe for a full 20 minutes straight. when she finished..
shale: so now if i gave u choice what uni would u go to?
me :.......................................uh. melbourne.
i can't describe the look on her face except it was the greasiest greasy she could give me.
anyhow. i had a stupid moment trying to turn on my sister's mp3.
when i pressed the button it said 'HOLD ON!!' (no joke with the exclaimation marks)
i was like.. 'WHOA what an angry mp3! maybe its telling me to wait.'
so i waited
and waited
and waited
..and nothing happened.
so i pressed it again.. and 'HOLD ON!!' came up.
so i decided maybe it meant Hold the On button for longer..
and i held it
and waited
and waited
and waited
and nothing happened.
then melina who was watching me all this time waste like five mins trying to turn on an mp3 cracks up and says ' your HOLD BUTTON'S on you loser!' ..duhhh :(
anyway it's been such a hot week :( very tiring.. but it was refreshing to talk to sherwin the other night, albeit for a short while. even reading his email was fun.
i gotta say you never find another character like him.
sher, i don't even know what you are.. except maybe a snag lol ;) the most apathetic snag i ever had the priviledge of knowing.
anyway i went over to jan's homestay after tuition last night and it was overrun in fobs. fobs fobs and more fobs, very.. fobland. tiffany grabbed my arm and whispered 'save me' and looked very threatened by the number of fobs. (fobs are overseas people who have trouble speaking english) they were so funny cos they say everything in a shout LOL.. and they flirt with each other funny.
there was this sleazy guy who admitted to having dominatrix sex =.= i was so shocked. whoa. beneath that harmless exterior fobs are so horny. lol..
sigh. i wanna watch music & lyrics or deja vu or notes on a scandal.
Friday, February 16, 2007 at 5:33 PM
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ha.
snort. work has officially gone down the toilet today. i haven't even managed to pick up the pencil which has been
begging me to start chinese hw. i'm just feeling sorry for myself coz of the immense pain that's been plaguing me non-stop today. it's like my whole lower body hurts (even my back..) :( pooey, i hate being a girl. anyhow, odd spot for u guys - females manage over 7000 words per day while males barely do over 2000. lol. we
are the chattier sex arent we.
mm giving out the roses was fun today. i could feel the eyes on me when i walked down the hallways with the roses to be given out, and everyone just wondering whether there was a rose for them or not. and it was pretty cool to see how happy and excited people got over roses.
mm. so since ive been wasting time and all, doing the thing i do best, i went on myspace and like *gasp* somehow over the course of summer some chick has fully turned lesbian?
i don't get it, she was fully going out with this guy last year! this year shes got photos of her and some other chick fully getting it on.
how strange :P
why, that explains the short hair now.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 1:17 AM
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if u googled it i meant like.. not the big other word. -_-''
my cramps hurt like a beetch. it hurt so bad i felt like i couldnt even stand up straight and my whole body started hurting. i was pretty freaking grumpy too.
but it was nice giving out roses and seeing people smile at them =)
omg, my mum made pineapple tarts. i LOVE pineapple tarts like melina likes penis.
joking..
they are so good i go into reels of delight whenever i bite into a soft pastry filled with sweet pineapple goodness.
and then i go into spasm of agony when the cramps hit and the pineapple dishes out payback on my poor stomach.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007 at 8:16 PM
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so since everyone seems to be doing some sort of pre-valentine's post i shall too.
valentines dayy.. love it or hate it? gotta admit it's some good haul for florists and jewellers and restaurants. they must get happy on valentines day just coz of the money they pull in.
everyone is either emo (ive read like 31204981 emo posts already) or really deliriously happy.
me? i dont know. im emo, but then again im pmsing so that's really normal. aye, lets face it .. vday is awesome if u have someone whos gonna shower you with nonstop TLC and make u feel like the worlds a freshly baked cookie. not so awesome if u watch someone u like shower that TLC on someone else. perhaps bearable if u dont really give two hoots. highly unlikely for girls to not care though, i wonder why valentines day is pretty much a call to the female aesthetic sense of being loved, pampered, appreciated, whatever.
so..cookie anyone?
回想你那天起 生命开始出现了奇迹 天空笑得好美丽
把手放进你手里 心里默默宣誓只爱你 一辈子也能肯定 只是爱难忍 伤得在彻底 在我的眼里 还是会相信
最诚的人最后一定可以 找到幸福的途径
爱会让我坚强让我哭泣 让我不懂我自己
只有你的微笑能安抚我的心
陪你走过狂风暴雨的日子 等待的是天晴
一起创造这场最完美的爱情 我愿意
回想你那天起 生命开始出现了奇迹 天空笑得好美丽
把手放进你手里 心里默默宣誓只爱你 一辈子也能肯定
只是爱难忍 伤得在彻底 在我的眼里 还是会相信
最诚的人最后一定可以 找到幸福的途径
爱会让我坚强让我哭泣 让我不懂我自己
只有你的微笑能安抚我的心
陪你走过狂风暴雨的日子 等待的是天晴
一起创造这场最完美的爱情 我愿意
爱会让我坚强让我哭泣 让我不懂我自己
只有你的微笑能安抚我的心
陪你走过狂风暴雨的日子 等待的是天晴
一起创造这场最完美的爱情 我愿意
i remember in year 7 or 8, there was all this thing about writing 1314. to mean .. 一 生
一 世.
i dont know why i wrote that. it just came to mind.
*more than yesterday, less than tomorrow ..
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i was really happy to hear from some of my friends about their O Level results! even though i hadn't the faintest idea what L1R5/L1R4 stood for, i guess i was just really proud + happy for them that they made it through!
then it fully hit me that this is my year to mug like crazy for a four digit score that will sort of determine.. pretty much.. my whole life -_-'' and yet i can't seem to manage my recommended 3 hours of home study per day. it's amazing the kind of things i can do to waste time, like squeeze my blackheads, trim my split ends, paint my toenails etc.
haha i'm so.. =.=
i wish i could mindread so i can poke into people's heads and read their thoughts. (i don't care about invasion of privacy, they will never know if i never tell them) there's no such thing as privacy these days, i bet out there is some sneaky bastard reading my thoughts and sniggering at all my most embarrassing moments or something and nobody knows it.
nobody cares about CNY here! i feel cheated from receiving money this year because all my relatives are overseas. *grumble* maybe they can send it by postage -.- it's really lonely because there's no one here.. sigh.
happy valentine's day all :p food for thought : think back to what u did LAST valentines day and what you were thinking.. hahaha
pretty interesting hm? ;)
Saturday, February 10, 2007 at 10:30 PM
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today was one of my happiest days because..:)
because of something nice someone did for me. i had a 'cookie' feeling all day..
thanks for making my day, or even my week. it was something special to me..
this week has been pretty hectic. i'm learning to get used to having only eng, chi, and maths all the time.. it's like the subjects have suddenly been limited and i'm repeating the same things over and over again.
on the other hand, the change from lit to eng has been smooth and easy.
nothing much interesting has happened except that the common room is now our lunchtime place where we hang out and play uno or for the guys, poker. i got new rimless frames done yesterday, and for some reason, the pasta i had for dinner yesterday night isn't digesting or something cos my tummy's been feeling strange today.
valentine's day is around the corner! i'm helping to give out the roses so i can miss out on double chinese lol.. :D and spread a bit of love around.
all the best for those receiving o level results today.. take care!
Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:33 PM
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i need your prayers! i submitted a request for subject change from lit to english after some thought.. and apparently there's an english class running at the same time as my lit class in the same block with space, and it won't screw up my timetable. only gotta pray ms harris and ms tripp let me go for it :(
i love lifehouse. =] i loveeee lifehouse.
anyway, i had one class today. i don't know why i bothered going to school. we had a whole lot of inspirational talks and amidst the yawning and fidgeting and shifting (31 deg heat is not funny at all) this poem stood out .. yes it's corny i know but i was very touched by it and since its my blog you're all not allowed to laugh at me for posting it up :P
The Race
Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”
Thursday, February 01, 2007 at 9:49 PM
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