nobody lets me sleep in :( it's like there's an invisible alarm in everyone that goes at 11 and people just trample in here to prod me awake with their fingers or in my grandpa's case, his walking stick. i burrowed as far as i could into my sheets but everyone seems to have found me so far (you know when you're hiding, and you think no one can see you just coz you can't see them back?) well anyway, the only person whom i've managed to trick is my grandpa. but then again, someone could break in, rob the house, and escape all before he realised.

this is terrible. one day before the big exam and nobody is cutting me any slack.

well well.. this is also another memorable joyous day because on nov 1st, 16 years ago.. someone very special was born.. :D

*drumroLL*

its FURRY SPICE'S BIRTHDAY! !!

janeanmeanbeanfurryspice RAAAARR it's your 16th! sorry i couldn't be at school today :( but i love you with all my heart and soul and brain and shit :D

CANDY MOUNTAIN! we gotta celebrate once exams are over and cook up something to terrorize melina again.

i loveeeee yoooooooooooooooooo like a hobo loves his bench :D

side note : someone teach me to play qing tian? pretty pretty pretty pleaaaaaase ^^

2 more days to go before the big end of year psych exam. lately i've been preoccupied with a host of things. it's amazing what the internet can do - the insight it can give you into peoples' lives. been browsing pictures of friends from singapore - it felt good to see faces i haven't really seen in too long and i can't get over how people seem to have changed. is it just me, or was that gawky sec 1 stage something everyone went through?? :) and reading random blogs.. well not wholly random, but i don't know the person whose blog i'm reading personally. i started reading her blog a couple of months ago when i chanced upon it (another result of random clicking) and read a rather emotional post that brought tears to my eyes.. i thought, wth, i don't even know this person and i am crying for her -.-

or maybe she just adequately conveys how she feels plus the effect of PMS. right now, i am trying not to look at the stack of papers sitting quietly at the corner of the table waiting for me :( just wasting time now. school is so meaningless that i can't even begin to describe the monotony it entails every single day. it drags and drags! the education system seems to be intent on hooking its claws into reluctant students and keeping them at school for no reason other than to make us miserable. don't mind me, i think i'm just suffering a bout of disgust for school now. hmm.. been waiting for my dad to return to singapore again. not used to having him around so much, it's almost stressful in a sense.

another strange thought i had today - i wondered whether somehow people can emanate feelings, if perhaps what they're feeling is strong enough. sometimes i think i get vibes from people if they're sad, or angry, or frustrated or in love or happy, or whatever it is they're feeling. it's pretty weird.. i think i am too emo sometimes i scare myself.

my moods have swung up and down for the past couple of days. i don't think i deal too well with stress coz i get really weird -.- and high-strung, and ANGRY.. yep, i am an angry person grr.. couple of days ago i was complaining to jan about how my dad was pissing me off (nothing new there)

10/30/2006		2:30:42 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		=(
10/30/2006		2:30:42 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		aww
10/30/2006		2:30:45 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		slap him
10/30/2006		2:30:48 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		and call him a beep
10/30/2006		2:30:50 PM		xinbean ._.		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		lol
10/30/2006		2:30:51 PM		xinbean ._.		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		:P
10/30/2006		2:30:51 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		then storm out
10/30/2006		2:30:55 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		a\nd live in the drains
10/30/2006		2:31:01 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		and be raised my mics
10/30/2006		2:31:11 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		u can be princess mouseyoky
10/30/2006		2:31:17 PM		xinbean ._.		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		LOL
10/30/2006		2:31:18 PM		j a n e a n ♥ » http://shuuemura.blogspot.com/		xinbean ._.		and have bf that rides a rat

that's just for whoever's seen princess mononoke and knows my chronic addiction to it. i should get a uni degree for bullshit coz i discovered my gift today during english, when i had absolutely no idea what i was writing about but happily managed to complete 800 words of complete, utter bullshit on bladerunner. thank you, thank you. i know i'm gifted. i was sprouting something that remotely resembled rubbish. i'll be surprised if i get anything above a C to be honest. lol, that would be my first C for a year - ordinarily i think i would be destroyed but these days i just really don't give a beep anymore

sleep these days has been so bad.. i'm not used to my new room cos the heater isn't installed yet and it's pretty darn chilly down here. my sister assaults me in her sleep :( i duno what that girl dreams about but she flings her arms and smacks me in the stomach sometimes. and the ridiculous thing is after all that she doesn't wake up. (!) for me, on the other hand, i'm wide awake and finding it hard to get to sleep. i've been dozing pretty lightly for the past few days and oh my word, getting up has never been such a torture.

ok enough procrastination. 2002 VCAA Psych calls. :(

aite, it's official i have ADD.

describe what's on your table.
it's strewn with past papers, psych revision books, checkpoints, scrap paper. my printer is sitting askew in the corner, there's a random odd spot strip lying here. my keys, lippie, ribbon and phone.. a spare wallet that was given as a present. textbooks, folders. oh and the laptop.

three things that you crave.
hot rods
milo
a warm hug

three things you did today.
pmsed like a biarch.
gave out krispy kremes.
sucked up milo with a melted tim tam :D

three things you miss.
yesterday when i wasn't in that much pain.
the exhiliration before a performance.
the feeling of relief when exams are over.

ladeeda.. friendster is like azn myspace.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all 

wagging is becoming so easy without a conscience. s'long as i think i'm doing something academically beneficial that is. but then again the temptation to just stuff work and like.. go shopping and watch the departed was like.. peak.

but it was good to hang with furry spice and mushu. :p very relaxing. we just laughed until like.. the tram driver stopped the tram halfway, stormed out and like screamed at us. we were like o.O last time i checked it wasn't a crime to laugh on the tram but anyway. he must've been in a real shit of a mood coz we said sorry and he's like 'sorry isn't good enough, just shut up.' so yeh.

crappy tram driver.

but i did get work done, cept that furry and mushu caught sight of cameron and li in the state lib and like fully hyperventilated all over the place. it's crawling in mhs people btw. i bought another psych revision book :D

i think the combined stress of exams and perhaps pre-period time is making me ULTRA PMSEY and bitchy. if you haven't encountered my grumpiness and sullenenss and extreme irritability over the past few days, count yourself lucky already.

i'm also beginning to have weird dreams.. once i dreamt that a friend and i were swimming in the ocean and we had to swim to a different country.. and it was some sort of competition so we kept on swimming.. lol *just keep swimmin, just keep swimmin.. just keep swimmin, swimmin, swimmin*

the skin on my nose is peeling from lack of maintenance. i've let myself go. my eyebags show, and my hair is split.

i'm a disturbed individual. mel, if u guys are going to state to study tomorrow lemme know.. i might come. i've had it up to THERE with studying with relatives around.

i cannot take it anymore :'(

trivia night

can't say i know alot about trivia, but surprisingly we pulled ahead of the med (ahem! the area's best and brightest lol) teams and the adults, and even the older randoms and stuff. hehe. those med students could be taken down a peg or two anyway. not ALL knowledge is scientifically or mathematically based anyway.

it was a pretty satisfying feeling watching all the groups being announced from the bottom (ha) and feeling very smug. at the start of trivia night, i was all ready to lie down and accept defeat already. come on - of all the randoms that turned up, half were med students, throw in a couple of commerce/law students you get a whole lot of brains on one table. mind you, brains and not much else anyway. but anyway, i suspect the reason that we actually got a fair go at winning was because the questions weren't all that challenging, but more random. like, REALLY random e.g. what is the golden ratio?

yeah, the whole table went silent except for harry. he exclaimed and snatched the paper away with much enthusiasm and wrote down the ENTIRE EXACT VALUE for the golden ratio.. it was like 1.6330993 or something .. or 1+ root 5 / 2 or something like that. my jaw dropped.. yes, i was swept off my feet in a completely new sense at that manic little genius residing in harry's head. rawr.. there was a history segment, that was alright.. yeah but it was a BIT shocking when the first question was ' what year did singapore attain self government?' and then everybody stared at me.. (so much pressure directed at me!) while i squirmed in my seat and tried to pretend i was malaysian ._. mm. then we had.. tv/famous faces/music/bible/nerd/current affairs.. what else.. hmm. trying to remember. haha score one in the nerd segment for me coz i've read pride and prejudice. obviously priscilla pretty much singlehandedly finished off the bible section..;p

i feel like being smarter. oh, my room is carpeted (hooray!) and tomorrow i begin the very tiring process of assembling my furniture. im munchie now but i don't know what to get =( today i nearly got run over by a car.. such a retard, i swear i felt shaky after that.. coz it was raining like freaking icy cold today.. (what is with the weather? 36 degrees lovely and sunny and it turns into.. like.. 11 degrees) it was freezing so i was trying to cross buchanan to get to lansdown, and i checked one side.. but i forgot the other.. i swear the car stopped like.. 5cm away from me.. omgomg. calmly walked across to the other side of buchanan but in about 2 mins i was shaking and my heart was pounding. freaking scared the crap out of me. oo. last outcome (cept for english) of the year! methods surprisingly didn't go TOO hard even though i've nearly ignored it.. yay :D

ugh.. the car thing really.. REALLY scares me.. and then i came home and hit parent troubles. but what else is new. in .. 2 days my beloved grumpies will be here in melbourne! yippeeee. i cant WAIIIT. btw i discovered it's not just me, my mum does have the incredible ability to bring tears of frustration and sickness and whatever to anyone.. coz i realized it happens to my sister too only on a smaller scale. o.O what a talent.

woke up today with an irresistable urge to skip school again. for some reason, getting out of bed was even harder than normal. :( anyway something to make you laugh.

John woke up one morning with an enormous erection so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little
boy into the room and asked him to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.

John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.

Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:

I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!

the things I do when I get stressed =\



yeh i know im abit weird.

man..there must be something with me and tuesdays. i never get work done on tuesdays. i had another bright idea, to wag english and just go for general. so i did. hummm i woke up and did methods too.. it was very productive.

then i went to school for double general and ran more circles in my head with hardcore differentiation with the blahblahblah rules. it was muck up day and all the year 12s were on full rampage ._. something slammed into the window and made me jerk and i looked up and saw the undead smothered against our window. very alarming indeed. and then a whole big bunch of year 12s bursted into our class and started bawling at the top of their lungs to some random song. mm.. forgot to mention : GOOD LUCK TO EMILY & SARAH for chinese orals today!

then lunch with my parents.. (i duno why, i was so hungry.. i think it's like stress eating o.O) i fully devoured my food. after lunch we went to look at bed linen, mattresses, rugs and runners and etc. i think i've decided that i will never again go furniture shopping with my parents. my mum is incapable of making any decisions without consulting my dad, and my dad is incapable of keeping his temper in check with my mum bugging him every two seconds. and i am incapable of seeing something more than four times before it all looks the same to me, and i'm so tired i really don't give a shit what i buy anymore. it's like this that my mum always pounces on some cheap ugly alternative and cooes about how nice it is, how practical, so matching, yadda yadda.. and i get coerced into buy something i totally hate and regret for the rest of the time i have to see it.

and it's now 4.15, all i've gotten is some dubious looking bed linen set. (nope, no mattress yet) and NO STAIRCASE GUARD FOR MY GRANDPA.. we got an outdoor dining set for the patio.. and a million and one things left to do, i have work soon and i have a feeling he's going to fire me for not working enough days especially when i tell him i'm going to not come next 2 weeks either.. ajhsfdjakhfasdkhfsakdhfadkjhfajkdbgadg

:( no msn for me still.

i'm suffering withdrawal :( i had a bright idea yesterday night to prevent me from going on msn and wasting excessive time. i decided to give up my msn password.

BIG MISTAKE coz it's only 8.30 and i've tried twice to crack my password o.O i still can't guess it.

i got hit by a water bomb today :( it came flying out of nowhere and went splat on my back. it hurt too. should've known better than to sit right in the midst of year 12s on their second last day. all that pent up stress has to go somewhere i suppose. unfortunately it landed on me. WHY OH WHY did i sit right in the open at the tables? should've been smarter. man, it hurt, i felt like something really heavy barrelled into my shoulder and it hit the spot where my arm went numb for abit.. meh. i spent period three standing in the toilet drying out my jumper (yes, my NEWLY DRYCLEANED JUMPER) which was now damp and smelly.. sighs. the temptation to just walk out of school and go home and do some psych was very very great at that time. i've already convinced mum to let me skip wednesdays from now on (it's only 2 weeks to the psych exam) and am considering wagging english tomorrow because we've finished bladerunner already, and chances are neither em or sarah will be there to keep me company in the most effingest boring class ever. is it worth it though, to just go to school for 2 periods? i don't wanna be catching up on general. plus its muck up day.. woohoo -.- i can just imagine how many fart bombs i'll inhale and water balloons that will be flung about.. lol it was funny to walk by the common room and see porn plastered in the windows looool.. anyway - chinese outcome on thursday (for once i'm worrying because i don't have the faintest idea how to write an imaginative children's story) and methods on friday. i did a past test in class today without being prepared at all. and.. i'm not looking forward to methods test, lets just say, because i'll be about as prepared then as i would be now.

torn between studying for unit 2 and unit 4.. obviously unit 4 claims highest priority but i can't stand the thought of all my unit 2s going down the drain after a year's worth of.. consistency. it pisses me offffff.!

ARGGGGH. so after wagging period six today (wanna know why? coz if i wag period six i can get a lift from mum, if i don't i have to take the bus LOL) i selected my curtains for my room.. the carpet people are coming on thursday (it'll be a two day job) and the bed's coming on monday so when the grumpies come they'll have a place to sit. grandpa protested against sleeping on the floor and claimed that he wouldn't be able to get up. :P

yippee.. at least my room's sort of getting done. dad's back and he's bought food. :] anyway, back to psych.

OMGGGGGGG GUESS WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST!!!

GUESS!!


GUESS damnit!!!!!


I HAD.... *DRUMROLL*


HONEY STARS!!

the tastiest stars in the universe! (at least i think that's what the ad said, it's been too long i can't remember.. man..i haven't had honey stars since primary school *tear* remember the good old days of Honey Stars and Coco Crunch before gross shit like weetbix and special K took over?).


awwww <3 i love honey stars. sister and i pounced on it this morning like a bunch of hungry hobos. if nothing, this has already put a smile on my face for today.

MY NEIGHBOUR HAS CHICKENS


was trying to study when i suddenly noticed a squawking sound. i thought it was my mum and then i realised .. i've heard that sound before..

WHEN I VISITED THE QUAIL FARM IN GRADE FOUR.

OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD THOSE CHICKENS WON'T SHUT UP.. I WANNA HOP ACROSS THE BACK FENCE AND

STRANGLE
STRANGLE
STRANGLE
STRANGLE
BEHEAD
STRANGLE
BEHEAD
BEHEAD
STRANGLE

those offensive chickens!!ARRGGGGGGGH. and make them into Brands Chicken Essence :] or .. KFCCC HERE I COME

congratulate me! i made it to period zero for the first time in 2 terms lol~ it's the last one too!
today was the year 12's last assembly. it was too hot to wear blazers, us year 11s sat in the back without much enthusiasm, thinking it was gonna be another typical assembly - mr. armstrong droning on about achieving your dreams yadda yadda..i almost fell asleep within 2 seconds of entering the theatre.

the emotion, the tension and the pent-up excitement was catching though, from the moment the school captains talked about their years.. to the performance by the band, and the tearjerker slideshow of all the BHS Class of 2006 memories.. there was an anticipation in the air of the promises that the future holds. now i can't wait to graduate too. can't help feeling torn that at the end of this year i'll never graduate from MFSS with the rest of my friends and go to prom night with them, cry with them at the thought of leaving each other. but there's next years graduation awaiting me.. perhaps in the span of two years i've grown in leaps and bounds (believe me) and i've changed as a person, but i always believe that it's your experiences, your environment that shape who you are, and of course, it's only you that will push you to what you can be..and i can't say i regret moving because it's been so rich in terms of what i've gained..

its something unpredictable but in the end it's right..
i hope you have the time of your life

who will i be in another 2 years' time?

hopefully prettier lah! haha.. i'd say, i would like to be more Godly, umm.. matured, quicker-witted (seriously.. I HAVE TO STOP LOCKING MY KEYS INSIDE MY LOCKER) and smarter - both academically and streetwise too..

feels like i'm expiring slowly and tiresomely. the candle that burns brightest burns quickest (haha i feel like a nexus6). will that be me? i'm burning away quickly.. literally too. i've been short tempered and hot and bothered lately (partly because of the weather) perhaps also ever nagging pressure.. and what it seems like the futility of my attempts to relieve that. don't know if i can make it to the end of the year. it's five questionable weeks away. don't even know if i'll pass unit 2 because i haven't lifted a finger for any of my unit 2's and afterall, we only get a S or N submitted. why bother, really? holidays so far away that i can't even imagine it yet.

i feel grotty, tired, hot, pmsey, drained. i think i'm about to get my period since i'm feeling emo too -.- if i could describe the feeling now, i'd say i feel like a pickle. :( wrinkled and sour and gross canned LOL.

there's no rhyme or reason.. only a sense of completion..
i know it might sound a little crazy but i still believe..

anyway before i go..

CANDY MOUNTAIN, CHARLIE! IT'S AN ADVERNTUREEEEE!!! LET'S GO TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!!!!

toodles. :)

OMG i know im falling into the habit of blogging like a dozen times a day but all the more for entertainment yeh?

its stress relief.. these days i have no fricken social life and the weathers too hot to talk to anybody (yeh i seriously cbs even changing my facial expressions and working up the energy to move my mouth and talk) yeh so i come online and type out whatever i want to say..

ANYWAAAY OMGGGG i have a new cousin LOL?! i didnt even know that my auntie was pregnant o_O but ANNYWAAAAY.. its a girl and she weighs six pounds, born today at 4.20. PRECIOUS. i hope she doesnt look like her mom in any way though cos that'd be very unfortunate. i detest that auntie coz shes so evil to my grandparents rarrr. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE PHOTOS! :D

it just occurred to me that moving here means that from now on i'll be looking at photos of my cousins and nephews and nieces growing up instead of actually watching them grow up. =] er i think i can still smell jans feet on my sofa :( JAAAAAAN.

THIS IS JAN AND MEL IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE LOOK LIKE. i havent been stuffed taking photos lately. lol before u ask, mel looks like that in real life :D

nono joking only!
YAY that's us again and this time she looks normal :D

omg the heat is getting to me. all day long i've been cranky and irritable and so has everyone i've come across. yes, even my sister is affected. she stormed into the house today with her face splotchy and red and was very grumpy indeed. today was just purely stifling in the classrooms.. sif concentrate. i've painted my nails a dark purple, almost emo black to symbolize my grumpiness. :p lol. nah, we were just bored in methods. ms. francken was hilarious when she commented that the air con smelt like nail varnish and i was just trying not to crack up. omg.. then we also talked about that disgusting shit that collects in peoples pores.. UGGHH.. it's so gross when theres like all this white puslike stuff on peoples faces and they don't do anything about it.. like.. PIMPLE CREAM HELLOOO.. jan think if u use a metal ruler and scrape it downwards all that gross white shit will come oozing/squirting out. ugh.

melina's having her period. HAHA. i laugh at her. then i announced that i refuse to get my period during summer, imagine how it'd feel like all hot and like carrying a diaper around omg.. i wonder if people get diaper rash on their bumcheeks or something =\ i hate having periods... then melina told me to get pregnant ._.

ooookay. should really get some work done. been very lazy lately, doing only MCQ's when i should be doing a mixed balance of short answer too. day is seemingly dragging by ever so slowly. five more weeks till i'm free of this school year. it seems like an eternity. i feel like a freaking bell cos my skirt's been poofing up. eyes are tired and hayfeverish. :(

my lit teacher looks like the old man from monster house.

jan came over and we finished princess mononoke. beautiful ending, she rode off with the wolves and he stayed with his red elk. jan commented that she wouldn't mind being princess of the eagles. :P i kinda like the elk and his loyalty, oh and those little tree kokoda things are so cuteeeee. by the same producer as spirited away ;)

someone be a kind soul and remind me i have period zero tomorrow.

wee! before the year 12s finish next week, i get 10 more spares per fortnight. sick. and mine is the only class that stops running - seriously contemplating wagging wednesdays from now in since it's completely bludge..

Live right now and just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else. 

change of plans ._. no more phillip island for me anymore coz the price of the district youth camp day trip went up to $40 and povs like me who have numerous causes to save for cannot afford such indulgences :(

so i guess i'm staying home and.. studying. =
:'( *BURSTS INTO TEARS* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

i feel like shouting up to God up there and telling him we THANKS VERY MUCH FOR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY ! and also that we could use alot more days like this. between 13 degs and 31 degs, it was sunny and clear, but boy was the wind strong. i felt so insecure the whole day worrying that my skirt would blow up. at risk of sounding like a weather forecast, it was simply fantastic. all day long i couldn't keep my head straight, i kept on staring out the windows counting down to lunchtime where i'd already planned to lie in the grass in the oval, bask in the sun and just listen to music and chill. which is crummy for concentration but oh well, how many of such days do we get a year anyway. i also feel slightly darker so, yay. the pastiness of winter is going!absolutely G.L.O.R.I.O.U.S.

SIX MORE WEEKS all shall come to an end. seems rather final doesn't it? i can't remember where this year has gone, it seems to have flew (?) by and everything's in a blur. o_O lol actually, now it comes to me that this time last year i was madly catching up on homework after missing alot of school.

anyway whoaa melina started a mini blog war on her tagboard. stupid really, i mean.. can't people respect individual liberties and like.. just press the little red 'x' box in the corner of the screen if they don't like what they're reading? anyway the hypocrisy of some of the comments disgust me so yeah, i have come to the conclusion that if i were to blog about somebody negatively, i'd just save it and bitch verbally if i had to. much more satisfaction anyway.

started watching half of princess mononoke. the soundtrack is so haunting and melancholy. i think my manager at the fish and chips shop wants to fire me cos i dont work enough days. jan and mel's birthdays are both coming up. going to phillip island this saturday. mass revision till after exams. my sister started piano lessons and is plonking away very determinedly every single day with the most irritating tunes. and she uses the metronome too. sometimes i feel like throwing something at her while i'm studying. my room's undergoing phase 1 of waterproofing now :) and my grandparents and relos will be here monday week after next.

enough rambling. i depart :D

a big thank you to the designer of this skin.. *drumroll please* HUIWEN ;D

i am very happy with this new skin! the font is not minute and nobody will go blind reading my blog! *preens* i love the color and the image and everything. it was made with much love too. :D

yes even though i've been stressing to the max lately, and not shutting up about it, i'm very thankful to be spoilt by such wonderful friends.

<3>

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

yeah.. this song makes me teary, and i haven't even broken up with anyone ._.
but thats my english break up song for sure.. -_-" plus the other emo chinese ones.


duno why i'm blogging so much in one day, it's not that i have that much to say.
i feel like a mini volcano ready to errupt as soon as exams are over. and that's
still a bit of time away.

In the moonlight I felt your heart
Quiver like a bowstring's pulse
In the moon's pure light, you looked at me
Nobody knows your heart

When the sun is gone I see you
Beautiful and haunting, but cold
Like the blade of a knife, so sharp and so sweet
Nobody knows your heart

All of your sorrow, grief and pain
Locked away in the forest of the night
Your secret heart belongs to the world
Of the things that sigh in the dark
Oh the things that cry in the dark

sounds corny but its a really nice melody..

i duno why i cannot concentrate! i have this itchy itchy feeling inside like cannot sit still you know??!!

..yeh as you can tell i'm feeling very fobby azn at the moment. i'm suffering this painful outbreak of pimples (those who knew me when i had flawless skin, those days are long gone). these days i'm a victim of a barrage pimples and ulcers from a bad combination of ongoing stress, late nights and an unhealthy diet. (no kidding) i checked it up on the internet coz i was wondering what the heck was going on with my face.

psych exam in THREE WEEKS. and i'm still dawdling on memory & forgetting. someone help me to concentrate please, i have ADD bad and i can't sit still for a long time. in addition i feel bloated and tired and lazy.

in conclusion.. i am frumpy today :( and frumpy = grumpy when one is not booootiful, clean and glowing like one likes to be.

good Lord, help me concentrate and be discipline. FOCUS!

another week come and gone :D and what a week it's been.
the weather's been glorious and i think im not looking quite as pasty as i did over winter :p even my freckles are popping out again. days like these you can't help smiling and loving the world and being happy. it was such a nice day that even ray felt like being nice.

yes ray if ur reading this -.- i wronged your good intentions for walking me to class :p

maybe i'll treat you to bubble cup or something one day haha ;D (no fair though, you knew perfectly well)

ook.. stressing over exams, not fun. but everything else is going really good, im not suffering any teenage life crises.. all good. something's missing though, but i'm not sure i need to find it yet. :p or maybe like jan says i need to go to Body Combat or something with her and work my arse off. i swear, after that one traumatizing session, i vowed never to go again. the lady's like KICK! HIGHER! HIGHER! and i made this pathetic thrust with my foot -.- and it's doubly embarrassing coz u cant like flop on the floor and try to breathe while women fifty times your age are hopping around like energizer bunnies. yesss, it's quite scary.

*shudder*

i can't wait for this year to be over already - sunshine, grandparents, china mission trip, tanning, shopping, relaxing.. and..

preparing for year 12.

:'( feeling really really crappy today.. for a number of reasons. (and they're long, so i won't blog them) but the conclusion of it is that i haven't done any work but moped around and felt sorry for myself, and now i look like i was born in china i.e. round face and slit eyes. having the urges of curling up into a ball until i feel happier and not going to school tomorrow.

anyways thanks for the pic "ni shi wo de qiao ke li" too <3

copied from melina's blog :
well... it was funny when it happened. =)

hurhur. *giggle* im mean.

i went to the primary school today. kids are cute but evil monsters i ended up buying a whole box of icypoles for them.. got suckered into it.

i am a sad loser.

i just spoke to another curry optu dude.

i swear, all optus people are curry ._.

so not ready for school tomorrow. i don't even think my jumper's back from drycleaning.