gabillionth post in a day, but i just had to write (type?) it. before i say it, for my birthday if you don't know what to get me, pick between makeup or developing some photos for me (and of course the ones that i look nice in la) haha :D

coz i've always wanted to make a huge photo collage.. now that i'm getting my own room, i'd like to do that. only i'm a photowhore which means i've got 3249871324 photos, and many i'd like to develop. also, it'd be a huge project that takes alot of time and effort.. anyone willing to help let me know.

so in the midst of packing and moving, i unearthed a small plastic bag of photos. and as always, excitement shot through me as i wondered what could be in the bag. i pulled out shots from many years back, if i'm correct - my first visit to Australia with my family, grandparents and extended family.

the faces were so youthful and energetic, and though it was so long ago i can remember the moment like it was yesterday. my grandpa stood tall and erect, my grandma had a mass of black curly hair, my mum and dad were both fashion disaster victims of the early nineties, and my aunts were practically peas in pods, they looked so alike.

granted, i was horrified at how i looked when i was young. i was chubby, had a classic bowl haircut, bespectacled as a result of being a hardcore bookworm, and awkward and ungainly. but as soon as i got used to it, i saw the emotion in the photos, me and my younger sister hugging each other and grinning.. us in matching shirts and with the exact same confused expression directed at the camera.. mum and dad carrying us on their shoulders.. grandpa and grandma standing proudly beside us..

for those precious few moments we were brought back to, the last week's stress of house moving was forgotten as we all slipped into our own private reminiscence.. how i wished, with all my heart that my aunt hadn't died and had moved here with us.. and that we could have our grandparents here again..

and inside, i wondered.. where have all those times gone to? where's the kinship and the love and the affection that was so openly displayed when we were younger? these days, i don't even want to spend time with my family anymore.. and we hardly get along.

and for that i'm sorry.. but things have changed so much.

hopefully things'll change for the better.