aihs.. so here i am blogging again because i got nothing better to do. -.- fine i admit it lah.. i'm just some sad no-lifer who is sick of studying.. i've had it up to THERE with general or psych or chinese.. meh. i'll just continue tomorrow. i feel like i'm somewhat on track though, so that's good. maybe that's my weakness.. i'm probably too easily satisfied with how i'm going; and that makes it all the more easier to backslide. just.like.that. *snaps fingers* i know that feeling all too well.. when it just doesn't matter anymore.. because - screw the world! you're having fun. who cares if you're the next generation of aunties or uncles that sit outside the toilet collecting 10c from every urgent patroniser? =x

whew. lucky i moved here.

okay, so i might just stab at vectors a little bit more later. eep. psych results are out monday. somehow i don't think i've grasped the severity of VCE just yet.. and how it determines your whole life.. 'cuz i'm nervous, but somehow it hasn't started sinking in yet. *deep breath* bubbles of anxiety are forming in my tummy and suddenly the room seems to have dropped a few degrees. i can only hope i did well... either that or everyone else did crap. =x hopefully it's the former. i can't rate how much effort i put in - but towards the end.. i just couldn't be bothered anymore.. kinda felt like i already knew my stuff y'know? argh. who knows if an extra hour could've made a difference between an A and a B+.. and.. seriously..psych screws with your head.. i wasn't sure that some questions weren't trick questions just there to get poor naive gullible psych students all hyped up on adrenaline before an exam.. and unable to function in normal mental capacity. yup, that sounds like me.

i'll be ever so glad just to make it pass this friday. lake house awaits for me! :D i keep on wondering whether they got to meet eventually. btw, sandra bullock and keanu reaves make a smashing couple, don't you think?

followed by a weekend of sort-of relaxing. sort.. of =x

something got me thinking today.. do we treasure things around us that we've gotten used to simply coz we know it's there? the people you leave waiting for ages coz ur late.. the conversation u see flashing in the corner of your screen but you're just too lazy to click on and reply.. the phone call that beeps continuously but is never picked up.. the little faithful pet sitting in a corner waiting for some sort of acknowledgement.. the stuffed toy you always wanted collecting dust on your shelf..the appointment you choose to give it a miss coz u simply didn't feel like it..the food u leave half-eaten on the table..the piano in the corner of the room so old and untouched that its hopelessly out of tune and the keys are yellow.. the shoes and clothes hidden away that you bought on an itch that faded as soon as it was scratched?

what happens if one day we all woke up in a completely alien place.. one where we didn't know a single familiar thing to us.. panic takes hold.. and you'd give everything to be back in your comfort zone. the stronger would adapt and survive, the weaker would continue pining for what was.

should we all step out of our comfort zone once in awhile..? so that when we step back in.. we embrace everything we have.. and appreciate things to their full value.. the friends you think will always be there.. the room you never clean.. the memorabilia collecting dust in the corner.. lifeless but at the same time priceless in the sentiments they hold.. the person who watched you from a corner and would do anything to make you happy.. and you didn't even know they existed?

open your eyes and take in life :) every sunny day.. every bright blue sky.. every special moment with your loved ones.. every note of music..

don't be too caught up in your own world. once in awhile, everyone needs a reminder of how lucky and how special their life is. all i'm saying is, get OFF that computer once in awhile and do something that really counts.

so i was saying, i was reading some archives from last year. :D i'm seriously going to find my pride rock. and i definitely mean to volunteer at spca sometime. at least i've finally put my name down for child sponsoring. one day, i'm gonna go horse-riding just like the good ol' days back in singapore where i was such a crazy horse fanatic that i'd sacrifice friday afternoons to go all the way to the other side of singapore to sit on a bucking horse for one hour and get my head rattled needlessly in the helmet. =p it was fun though.

if every precious memory one held could paint a spectrum of color in the sky we'd have an aurora borealis today.. right now!

ughh.. it's what, one week into my dad being back and i've already gotten told off. same old thing throughout my whole life. a broken recorder saying ugly things over and over. so, so, so sick of it all that i've mastered the art of an expressionless (lest i get told off for facial expressions) face for a full hour and i can fully stare at one point for ages because if i look away it's disrespect. when will he understand that i don't want to spend time with him, don't have anything to say to him, because there simply is no relationship? it's no ones fault that ours is an unfortunate pairing where we will never ever agree or get along. i'm not a great family member, but hey- i don't give people crap. just leave me alone and i'm fully self-functioning, own ecosystem and all.. =x okay bad joke. and after all that about appreciating things in life, i can honestly say i've never missed him when he's been away (well it's always been like that ever since as long as i can remember) and a pit of dread always forms in my heart whenever he comes back. and somewhere into the second week of his return, the Talk comes.. or perhaps i should say one-way conversation because i stand there like a zombie and tune out. and then another one or two weeks of needless comments, ugly nasty things meant to prick, (and how does that improve our relationship?) and picking on.. i'm ready to go out of my mind.. the insanity of it all.. and then i just shut it all out.. push it all down.. and swallow everything that comes up like something ready to explode. and eventually i wrestle it under control and i just live in my house like it's a hotel - do what i have to, sleep and get out. and then he goes home and i breathe again.. until occassional (lately, more often) flare ups with my mum. why is it i just can't get along with my parents? i envy the easiness other people have.. and yet it's something i can't acheive. to think of mum & me on a bonding shopping trip or something like most mum-and-daughters do.. is almost laughable. to think of dad & me doing anything together is hilarious. never. will. happen. it's something i've given up on. heck, i wish i lived with my grandparents instead. it's so different with my grandparents.. yes we've had our fair share of fights, tantrums and tears, but at the end of the day, after years have passed, my grandparents have both mellowed into gentle loving people, more willing than anything to just love us unconditionally no matter what we do.. and that's what makes it so great.. it's fully reciprocal.. i have no pride whatsoever when it comes to my grandparents - i'd do anything for them. i tell them i love them all the time - and i mean it.. there's no two people in the world that i could love more selflessly. and that's probably saying alot. and i probably don't deserve all the love and care i get from my wonderful grandparents, but they lavish it on me anyway. and the funny bit is.. even though there are things we don't agree on.. we're always willing to compromise for the sake of the other. now that, is.. the most.. perfect human relationship. unconditional love no matter what.

aihs.. so here i am blogging again because i got nothing better to do. -.- fine i admit it lah.. i'm just some sad no-lifer who is sick of studying.. i've had it up to THERE with general or psych or chinese.. meh. i'll just continue tomorrow. i feel like i'm somewhat on track though, so that's good. maybe that's my weakness.. i'm probably too easily satisfied with how i'm going; and that makes it all the more easier to backslide. just.like.that. *snaps fingers* i know that feeling all too well.. when it just doesn't matter anymore.. because - screw the world! you're having fun. who cares if you're the next generation of aunties or uncles that sit outside the toilet collecting 10c from every urgent patroniser? =x

whew. lucky i moved here.

okay, so i might just stab at vectors a little bit more later. eep. psych results are out monday. somehow i don't think i've grasped the severity of VCE just yet.. and how it determines your whole life.. 'cuz i'm nervous, but somehow it hasn't started sinking in yet. *deep breath* bubbles of anxiety are forming in my tummy and suddenly the room seems to have dropped a few degrees. i can only hope i did well... either that or everyone else did crap. =x hopefully it's the former. i can't rate how much effort i put in - but towards the end.. i just couldn't be bothered anymore.. kinda felt like i already knew my stuff y'know? argh. who knows if an extra hour could've made a difference between an A and a B+.. and.. seriously..psych screws with your head.. i wasn't sure that some questions weren't trick questions just there to get poor naive gullible psych students all hyped up on adrenaline before an exam.. and unable to function in normal mental capacity. yup, that sounds like me.

i'll be ever so glad just to make it pass this friday. lake house awaits for me! :D i keep on wondering whether they got to meet eventually. btw, sandra bullock and keanu reaves make a smashing couple, don't you think?

followed by a weekend of sort-of relaxing. sort.. of =x

something got me thinking today.. do we treasure things around us that we've gotten used to simply coz we know it's there? the people you leave waiting for ages coz ur late.. the conversation u see flashing in the corner of your screen but you're just too lazy to click on and reply.. the phone call that beeps continuously but is never picked up.. the little faithful pet sitting in a corner waiting for some sort of acknowledgement.. the stuffed toy you always wanted collecting dust on your shelf..the appointment you choose to give it a miss coz u simply didn't feel like it..the food u leave half-eaten on the table..the piano in the corner of the room so old and untouched that its hopelessly out of tune and the keys are yellow.. the shoes and clothes hidden away that you bought on an itch that faded as soon as it was scratched?

what happens if one day we all woke up in a completely alien place.. one where we didn't know a single familiar thing to us.. panic takes hold.. and you'd give everything to be back in your comfort zone. the stronger would adapt and survive, the weaker would continue pining for what was.

should we all step out of our comfort zone once in awhile..? so that when we step back in.. we embrace everything we have.. and appreciate things to their full value.. the friends you think will always be there.. the room you never clean.. the memorabilia collecting dust in the corner.. lifeless but at the same time priceless in the sentiments they hold.. the person who watched you from a corner and would do anything to make you happy.. and you didn't even know they existed?

open your eyes and take in life :) every sunny day.. every bright blue sky.. every special moment with your loved ones.. every note of music..

don't be too caught up in your own world. once in awhile, everyone needs a reminder of how lucky and how special their life is. all i'm saying is, get OFF that computer once in awhile and do something that really counts.

so i was saying, i was reading some archives from last year. :D i'm seriously going to find my pride rock. and i definitely mean to volunteer at spca sometime. at least i've finally put my name down for child sponsoring. one day, i'm gonna go horse-riding just like the good ol' days back in singapore where i was such a crazy horse fanatic that i'd sacrifice friday afternoons to go all the way to the other side of singapore to sit on a bucking horse for one hour and get my head rattled needlessly in the helmet. =p it was fun though.

if every precious memory one held could paint a spectrum of color in the sky we'd have an aurora borealis today.. right now!

ughh.. it's what, one week into my dad being back and i've already gotten told off. same old thing throughout my whole life. a broken recorder saying ugly things over and over. so, so, so sick of it all that i've mastered the art of an expressionless (lest i get told off for facial expressions) face for a full hour and i can fully stare at one point for ages because if i look away it's disrespect. when will he understand that i don't want to spend time with him, don't have anything to say to him, because there simply is no relationship? it's no ones fault that ours is an unfortunate pairing where we will never ever agree or get along. i'm not a great family member, but hey- i don't give people crap. just leave me alone and i'm fully self-functioning, own ecosystem and all.. =x okay bad joke. and after all that about appreciating things in life, i can honestly say i've never missed him when he's been away (well it's always been like that ever since as long as i can remember) and a pit of dread always forms in my heart whenever he comes back. and somewhere into the second week of his return, the Talk comes.. or perhaps i should say one-way conversation because i stand there like a zombie and tune out. and then another one or two weeks of needless comments, ugly nasty things meant to prick, (and how does that improve our relationship?) and picking on.. i'm ready to go out of my mind.. the insanity of it all.. and then i just shut it all out.. push it all down.. and swallow everything that comes up like something ready to explode. and eventually i wrestle it under control and i just live in my house like it's a hotel - do what i have to, sleep and get out. and then he goes home and i breathe again.. until occassional (lately, more often) flare ups with my mum. why is it i just can't get along with my parents? i envy the easiness other people have.. and yet it's something i can't acheive. to think of mum & me on a bonding shopping trip or something like most mum-and-daughters do.. is almost laughable. to think of dad & me doing anything together is hilarious. never. will. happen. it's something i've given up on. heck, i wish i lived with my grandparents instead. it's so different with my grandparents.. yes we've had our fair share of fights, tantrums and tears, but at the end of the day, after years have passed, my grandparents have both mellowed into gentle loving people, more willing than anything to just love us unconditionally no matter what we do.. and that's what makes it so great.. it's fully reciprocal.. i have no pride whatsoever when it comes to my grandparents - i'd do anything for them. i tell them i love them all the time - and i mean it.. there's no two people in the world that i could love more selflessly. and that's probably saying alot. and i probably don't deserve all the love and care i get from my wonderful grandparents, but they lavish it on me anyway. and the funny bit is.. even though there are things we don't agree on.. we're always willing to compromise for the sake of the other. now that, is.. the most.. perfect human relationship. unconditional love no matter what.

i did it! ;D something i've wanted to do for a long, long time.. and now i've finally gotten it done. YAY!

so many faces and they all need love =)

awww! it's too beautiful a day to be inside studying..!! =( lol.. someone come to the park with me :D hahah..

does anyone remember the song ' year 3000' by busted? LOL.. i was listening to it again.. awww hahah.. so happy and carefree.

i dug out old CD's just now to look at photos. ahh china. :D queensland.. arggh. ._. and i found an old baby pic too. (that's how old some of the CD's are) lol.

how come we always want what others have, but we're never satisfied with the things in our life?..yesss.. i'm talking about the girl with the perfect friends who always know what she feels, the girl with the guy with nice hair and dimples, the girl with perfect family relationship, the girl who gets to go shopping and blow any amount on anything.. maybe a gasp dress.. or.. yeah.. =)) someone with a boyfriend like daomingsi or lei in meteor garden ;)

psht.. material envies yeah? can't help it. watch shows like meteor garden and westside story [the asian versions] and you'll forever expect the kind of relationship in it.. (and yes, that person has to have watched meteor garden and westside story too) lol..! *nudge* right melina?

or maybe we just really envy how people can be so happy they practically float all the time.. and nothing can bother them. the kind of happiness you see with people in love.. or in like.. or where some hormones are having some serious chemical reactions inside them.. *bang bang boom* and produces all these endorphins.. and maybe ;) chocoholics like me just try to simulate that feeling with chocolate lol and end up getting bloated and fatter :( somehow that doesn't work so good yeh. lol.

i've been listening to This I Swear by Nick Lachey.. omg.. what a contrast yeh. on my playlist (which is organized alphabetically) i have two songs by Nick - the first one 'This I Swear'
and right after it is 'What's Left of Me' lol.. i can't help being amused.. this song title sounds so deflated compared to the 'bursting with promise' feeling you get from 'This I Swear' yes it was sweet while it lasted :p but as you can see.. there's not much left of Nick after his marriage with Jessica dissolved because he's probably at his last resorts wailing about What's Left of Him.-.-

by the way, Jessica had really bad boob surgery and now one of her boobs look squarish >.<

omg.. whatever i typed just now disappeared. *&^$ blogspot.

happy birthday em. :) i love you.

hell, i love all my friends :D YES YOU GUYS.. sorry for being crabby whenever im tearing my hair out with probability or shit.

aiya. moral of the story : live for today's moment before it becomes a fleeting memory of yesterday's what could have been. that's the root of the problem - we never appreciate and ask for more.

so yes, this is an affirmation: I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE. =)

even though daomingsi is not in it. :(

i miss u guys in singapore.

is it just me, or is everyone suffering from the biggest cbs mood these days?
with all the numerous tests and assignments and presentations and orals due, no one seems to be willing to get off their bums and get a move on with it :p

not that i mind or anything because it gives me an excuse to kick back and bum around with everyone else. these days i've been feeling extremely confused and disoriented (let's see.. i locked my keys in my locker again ) yes for like the second time this term that when i appeared in the office Mr. Gritchting exclaimed 'you again!' ...

.. sigh. i am so harebrained these days..:(

*on a happier note, i love nice hair. :D the other day, we were discussing hair in psych. i really, really, REALLY, like the asian-singer hair. i don't care how fobby it is. :p it just makes me go aww xD nice hair + dimples = xinni in a puddle.

there's actually so much work that my parents are going to mt. buller with my sister and family friends to ski/snowboard, or whatever, and i'm not going. but i don't like the snow anyway, so no biggie :D i do wish however that i was gonna be watching Lake House on saturday =( but oh well, one can't always have cake and eat it :D

anyways.. i really should be having my shower and then stabbing at general.. even though i know i'm probably gonna fail.. =( but one bit of me insists that i take a fair shot at it -.- so i won't suffer pangs of guilt later when it totally drags down my average.

today i made a small effort to cut down on chocolate consumption. :D i brought a cadbury brunch bar.. which i insisted was definitely a cut above pure chocolate. and melina drank my juice. -.- i go into the toilet and ask her to hold my juice for me. and then i come out and she hands me an empty box. argh melina :p i could strangle you sometimes.

ok.. i love everybody :D only because i just got paid and mum forgot it's pay day :))

it was nice at the park today :) hehe.. it was a beautiful day! sunshine and blue skies. a lil' cold, but who cares :D i managed to fulfill my longtime fantasy of the.. thingey which is sort of like a swing, but not really. and to get on, two people have to hop on at the exact same time. :D so after much attempts and almost-did-its and .. me screaming :p well imagine one side of the swing thing going up with me hanging onto it desperately..

i love parks and playgrounds :D

today at chinese mr. yu screamed at me many many times. because ' i caught his attention' therefore i must 'talk more than anyone else' ._. aiyah, i don't get why he insists on picking on me and glaring at me, and etc. =( he cannot understand that it's not in any way an ego thing. -.- but whatever.

zhen, kara and i made a songlist today :p and after school we were singing 'if you're not the one' that song brings back memories ;)

'coz i miss u.. body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
and i breathe you, into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'coz i love u.. whether it's wrong or right
and though i can't be with u tonight
know my heart is by your side..

i reckon that's the best part of the song :D coz the rest of the song seems to lead up to that.

anyway, i'm off now. xD

eek..it's official. i have a sleep disorder. i had this Big Plan to do much studying/revision today but after i got home and gorged myself on a box of nasi lemak (omg, this is the first nasi lemak i've had in years, literally.) now usually i'm not a big fan of nasi lemak but today was so cold. and cold weather always makes me ravenous. :(

eff that stupid nasi lemak. :( it caused me much pain in barely an hour. i was practically spasming :( i think i overdosed myself on the chilli or something. i couldn't help it - chilli is such a rare commodity here that (in case you were wondering i mean GOOD malaysian/singaporean style malay nasi lemak chilli paste) i went for it like a squirrel for a barrel of nuts. or pooh for honey. whatever. you get the idea.

then i opened my methods book and fell asleep ._. this is silly coz i never get tired when im interested in things, but when it's cold and i just had food or something is boring me out of my mind then i fall asleep =p

but usually it's the stuff i absolutely have to study that makes me fall asleep -.- coz i spend the time i'm supposed to use to study it sleeping instead. it figures, doesn't it?

=( eight more weeks till term break. i'm dreaming of an end of the year queensland break so badly that .. well, i'm dreaming of it :p or at least daydreaming. the sun, the sand, the theme parks.. ahh.. heaven.

*burp*

ahh.. that methods is frying my brain =( i only did 2 exercises but believe it or not i took over two hours to slodge through that probability crap. i am so ****ed for my next test - probability, combinatorics and rates of change. two of my worst topics in methods. double whammy.

and my dad is coming back. byebye social life. and lake house is coming out next week too! *sobs*

so distracted these days =\ how come i can't focus? ..alright.. i'm giving myself a little while longer to listen to music, bum and relax.. and then i'm going to type up some psych notes for memory and stuff.

okay?

OKAY.!

i want chicken tenders and twix =(

not now though, stupid nasi lemak killed my appetite. never again :( i should've known -.- malay food always makes my tummy go mad. it's just been so long that i've forgotten.

aiyah.. *scratches head* i don't know why these days maths is getting so hard. =\ maybe my brain is failing me.

playlist at the moment :
so sick - neyo (fine i know it's overplayed but.. meh)
control myself - J. Lo ft. LL Cool J :p (zzzzz, zzzz)
good foot - J.T. ft. Timberland yay i love this song :p i can't stop singing it. and i love J.T too :D
me & u - cassie ft. ray hehe so sexual this song
ain't no other man - christina aguilera the trashy blonde with the good voice o.O
torn - natalie imbruglia xD yesss.. old songs. but this one is particularly good.
wrong impression - natalie again. i like her pixie look. she's cute :D
hips don't lie - shakira ft. wyclef jean hehe.. another sexual song.
ridin' - chamillionare
all out of love - air supply (OLD SCHOOL)
shan hu hai - need i say who?
crooked teeth - deathcab for a cutie ;) they played here not too long ago, lousy thing was over 18 though.
if you're not the one - daniel bedingfield (which girl doesn't like this song? :p)
and various zhang dong liang and guang liang songs :))

aites.. i'm outta here. cya, all xD

God help me, I'm turning into a freaking nutcase

One of these days I'm going to do something I regret.

Shit.

An entry for a special friend

It's strange how it takes a heartwrenching situation for people to come together and care. It's sad how the vessel that carries the message has to be a beautiful, strong, amazing 19 year old girl. I can honestly say, I've never known a person as brave as her. I don't care who did what in which war, but honestly, they haven't been through a quarter of what she has.

They say she's in ICU, fighting for her life, too weak to even acknowledge a person's presence. I wonder if she feels God's presence surrounding her, whether she knows the Holy Spirit is always by her, and whether she knows that all of us think of her and pray for her. Her presence at church for me was always noted, but it seems like a friend I've passed over the chance to know, or perhaps haven't made a great enough effort. However many times I've spoken to her, something about her shines through more than anything else, her patience, her courage, her spirit. She glows inside even when she pales outside. One special memory I have of her is when the situation was reversed - me being the sickly afraid person, so afraid that I would wake up to an eternal world of darkness. But she visited me, and in all her warmth and encouragement, said to me she knew how I felt. And those words meant more to me than anything else anyone could have said.

It's true that nobody could comprehend the pain she suffers everyday. For someone in her position, every day is a gift from God. Makes you think - what do you do with your daily gifts from God? do you plod through life aimlessly and meaninglessly, when there are people out there filled with a future and a purpose but not even given the chance to try?

It's funny how when you're really sick...you can never imagine how to get better...can't even think about how to feel positive and can't even remember what it's like to feel well. Suddenly the pain is so much you are convinced that you are going to die, but you just don't want to admit it out loud. You become scared, really scared inside, because you cannot control your body...and no matter what medicine you pump in, it just rebels with full force. Like a tornado adamant to rip you up inside out.

Though your parents will say "It's going to be alright" and "Trust in the Lord"... you just want the pain to go away. But when the worst is over, it seems impossible to return to the previous situation/feelings + emotions. One can't even remember the pain, not to the extent that it hurt. You can't even believe the pain you might have gone through...because you can't feel that pain anymore, you're better + you never want to go through it again...

All you can think about is................. you're better! All you can marvel at, is God's grace. All you can do is praise God that he has given you rest, and he has had mercy on your body and soul.

off her blog, this is painfully twisting. Disease is an awful thing. If people were judged by merits, she'd be the last person I know who deserves this. But yet it's what's made her so special - her eternal faith and trust in God and His will for her, even when it feels like her body's tormented to the last it can take.

It's numbing to think of - honestly, it feels like a picture without color to me. I can imagine her in the cold sterile room, empty of warmth and home, and the hissing of a respirator as it pumps oxygen into her frail body. I can imagine her floating in and out of consciousness - and I wonder in those scarce moments, what is she thinking of? Is she thinking of death, of relief, of salvation, of meeting her Maker? Is she hoping with a fire that is slowly dying out? Is she at peace? Can she even think?

Are we all prepared to meet our Maker? Is our perspective on life, the unexpected twists and bounds it can take, changing because she has shown us what it's like to have something you take for granted and have it taken away? No doubt everyone's had their doses of that - but when it's something as fragile as health and life, do we all really take each passing day as a gift, one that we should make full use of and treasure?

imagine for over a year, you battle with your body for control of it, and everytime you feel like you could be getting better, your hopes are dashed. and yet it's that tiny flicker, that possibility that a day will come where everything will be in the past and seem like a bad nightmare, that keeps you going. perhaps it's the flicker that's extinguished when a person finally gives up.

all i know is that, Caris has shown me the capriciousness of life. i only hope that she doesn't pay such an awful price for it. whatever happens, let's keep this beautiful strong girl who shines as a testimony to faith every single day in our hearts and keep on praying for her.

it's time for her to take flight - whether it's by death as a release or whether she is miraculously cured.. she's poised now.. and so are we.. just waiting.. and praying.

to caris - you might not ever read this, but you've shown me so much through your faith. you're an inspiration and God's spirit shines through you.. you're beautiful inside and out, stay strong and don't be afraid.. God is with you, and no matter what, He will do what is best for you..

John 11:2-4: "And it was that Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. The sisters therefore sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. But when Jesus heard it, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified thereby."

it's 3.12 pm and i just woke up o.O this is definitely a record. i think it's something in the weather. or maybe my mum's voice just makes me want to crawl into bed and shut it all out for a bit longer. =p whatever it is, work experience week was thoroughly exhausting. now i know how working people can just fall asleep standing and practically have no lives outside work because they are just too darn tired to drag themselves anywhere (like me, i just slept half my saturday away) and i'm going to (woohoo, how exciting) spend the rest of it catching up on homework. beats me how teachers (who work full time) can give us homework with absolutely no compassion if they know how tired we're gonna be. and especially since tuesdays and thursdays i worked part time straight after that, and had a 12 hour day on my feet.. and the other days i simply couldn't resist hanging out in the city after, not to mention on wednesday zhen and jan stayed over and we spooked ourselves silly watching emily rose ._. we wanted to watch a sex and the city season five marathon after that, but my stupid dvd player went and died on me ._.

i was too scared to fix it (the whole 3AM thing from the emily rose show)

so i just jumped into my sleeping bag and went to sleep.

-.- anyway. i got my pay yesterday. =p guess how much?

$100!

heheh. i dance for joy. i opened the envelope and nearly shrieked in the office. =p so even if i have been doing months worth of filing (yes, smart lawyers are pretty damn slack when it comes to paperwork) and photocopying and binding like there's no tomorrow, i earned alot -.- for a work experience student. i came to the conclusion that lawyers are actually nice people but they're too busy to show it much =p but i guess it's a good thing coz when i sit in my lil corner and no one notices me, i really don't do much.

take yesterday for example. i got to work. checked the accounts and bank statements. all done. no one had anything for me to photocopy or bind. check that. no investment claims to check, no building plans to color in.

so i sat in my corner and went to sleep. literally. i put my head on the desk and just slept. >.< and the busy lawyers who bustled by did not even blink an eye to a random person sleeping in the middle of their office. lol. then i woke up. and decided to get some magazines from the reception. -.- i came back with three copies of time and read about how some Al-Qaeda leader with a name too funny to remember was tracked down and killed. i read about Australia's uranium resources and power dilemna, and about india's rising economy.

then i fell asleep again.

omg, mum just opened the door and said she wanted to have a talk with me. i think i might go to sleep again.

actually, jan just called and invited me to her sister's 21st. which is a costume party. which i don't have anything to wear. unless i am a bumblebee or a fairy ._.

i still don't have anything to wear.

then she went into a tunnel or something and the line got cut off. -.-

so i don't know where and when and blah blah details.lol.

oh. jan just called back again. ok. now i have to think what to wear >.<

any ideas anybody? :(

um.. i cbs blogging anymore. continue another time.

bye all xD

eh, i don't know why this post is underlined >.< oh it isn't here :D lol. ok that's where i work, 385 bourke street the Galleria :D

freaking massive strawberry when i got home. steroids strawberry! any bigger and it will be a red potato.
jan, the nurse who prods people who have oversized massive 3x swollen virginas that are red and scary due to thrush -.- so DON'T HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE PEOPLE! *wags fingers* sigh, everyone gets to touch something interesting. bena's gotten to touch a croc coz the zoo came to the childcare (NO NOT THE CHILDCARE WENT TO THE ZOO) it was a MOBILE zoo -.- geez, everyone assumes i said the wrong thing. and janean gets to touch her thrush-infected virginas ._. not that i want to but ANYWAY ._. what a HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE.

---------------there's priscilla's interesting bit of the day-----------
--> [†] <-- Pris like the sun coming up in the morning, like holding the world in your hands.. says: but it was really funny today..coz i was putting stuff on the shelves...and there was this lady talking to either her husband or her partner or some guy on the phone(i heard a male's voice) about condoms...and she was talking reeeally loudly.. --> [†] <-- Pris like the sun coming up in the morning, like holding the world in your hands.. says: and she was describing all the different types to him and pinting at them to herself.. --> [†] <-- Pris like the sun coming up in the morning, like holding the world in your hands.. says: and i was thinking..yeah..great...you just had to let the whole world know what you're gonna be up to tonight and me, the girl who gets the papercuts ._. (i got five already) and is getting to know the photocopiers and binding machines verrrry well indeed, not to mention consorting daily with a bunch of financial documents THIS THICK *holds fingers like 10m apart* and building plans and insurance claims and what-have-yous. some of the insurance claims are so huge (think so many figures in an amount that you lose track of the numbers) that my eyes nearly popped out. well i must say i looked so workish today i was very tempted to grab a cup of starbucks on my way up and march into the office with a prudish expression and the 'out of my way' look on my face while managing to look very busy and occupied like the whole world is chasing you for something. sadly i can't afford starbucks on my freaking exploit child labour pay which is (i must reiterate) SIXTY FIVE CENTS PER HOUR - FIVE BUCKS A DAY.. lol.. anyway i am a small fry in the office sitting opposite the big glass windows of each individual office that the practicioners in the firm have. all have them have beautiful big views overlooking the city and none of them appreciate it. i swear, these lawyers are crazy - they have stacks of paper and documents piled all over the place it's like someone declared that it was national nerd day. since i am such a small fry and everyone is oh-so-busy i hardly get noticed and i just sit there during my task breaks (whenever i finish doing something) and eat chocolate ._. my first attempt to take a pic of my working clothes failed.
i climbed onto the sink to do this -.- and nearly fell over when someone pushed open the doors. oh :p did i mention, i get a special TAG-PASS that opens every door in three storeys! :D *wiggle*

the reception area. with um, very... abstract.. art.skyscrapers =D haha.. the city scene on a grey winter's day.
mm, reception of herbert, geer & rundle
met up with zhen for a short lunch and had trampoline! i love trampoline and so does zhen. see how happy she looks.

DAY #1 OF WORK EXPERIENCE
i did binding, mailruns, submittion of applications, checking insurance claims, sealing envelopes, and i sat in a meeting

this is what i mean by it's intimidating - the freaking lift has a TV. -.- like who is going to stay in the lift long enough to watch tv???
the plaque when the lift door opens. i must say herbert is a most unattractive name. it's on the shoot list along with other names like harry and dick. [no they are not meant to be read together]
the old supreme court.
inside an office.. :)
more.. random..buildings during my mail run.
spectacular view of the city :D
inside the county court. i set off the alarm coz of my watch/belt lol.
oh, this is the result of another batch of baking the other night :D yummy yummy.
county court still..
yup, you guessed it. the same place. lol.
and so on..

i get to do court filings tomorrow! hopefully we'll be visiting the supreme court and i'll get to meet hardcore criminals hehe :D

mm.. citys so awfully cold and gusty these days its horrible to be out. and i hope i get more insurance claims, i really do. :D they're rather fun to do.

mm.. =( i missed the finals last night coz i fell asleep :( WAAAAHHHH i really wanted to watch that meh ... should've stayed straight up for it >.<

now i got a heap of hw and a stack of dvd's to watch and no time. -.-

tues thurs im going straight to my other part time work *sigh* full day on my feet, that's totally gonna kill me lol.

i worked out that the minimum pay - five bucks a day -seriously work experience pay is crap :p but anyways that works out to sixty five cents per hour.

omg talk about free exploitation. IM SO STRESSED AND TIRED! ._. and i friggin HATE MY SKIN. and by this i mean blog template.

lucky ray and glo have gone off to sydney for their accounting work experience. enjoying krispy kremes and etc >=( AIYA

World cup final tonight!!

France Vs Italy

I want France to win .. I dislike those Italians after what they did vs Aus >< ... 3:36AM at the moment.... I think I'm going to facemat my keyboard soon hehe.

zZZzzzzz

Tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou,
Sate sate nani ga dekiru ka na.
Hai, dekimashita!!

(Let's make something, Let's make something.. Well.. I wonder whats going to be made?)

Tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou,
Sate sate nani ga dekiru ka na.
Hai, dekimashita.

(Let's make something, Let's make something.. Well.. I wonder whats going to be made?)

Clicky here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reJFCM632jU&search=Chiyo-chan   Awww so adorable!!

Anyways you will see the results soon!!
xP

:D *GRIN*
smiiiggggleeee chocolate eraser!
after makeover
more photowhoring :p
hehehehehhehe
yay makeoverrrr!
i am grumpy :(
weeee!
happy happy xD
lovechickens ._.
mmm.. early parenthood :p
mauuuu!
cliffoooorrd
yay after FREE NAPOLEON MAKEOVERS.. YESS.. i love napoleon perdis xD
rar =D
the guys. :D
ray and mau awww some love going on :p
ussss! pirates of the carribean 2
the girls :D
clifford and deverim
nandos CHICKEN
the table!
food!
zhen and ray :D aww
tommys plate of fries?!
alice in wonderland :D at pancake parlour.
mel, laura, me :)
jan and meeee
clifford the cookie monster :D
lol.. me and sirah :D

these photos have no order whatsoever ._. ENJOY anyway

cbb blogging, but today was fun. pirates of the carribean 2 is pretty good.