oooh the anger. i could scream now. i know my parents are an unchangeable part of my life. but it's just asinine that i'm not allowed to express any form of disagreement or disapproval or disappointment with them or their decisions or their actions - just because i'm their daughter. so what? i have a right as a person to disagree or whatever. take my mum - she's always making appointments with people and breaking them for no good reason. and she gets so intolerant of me when i'm late. but i can't express any feelings when she cracks it at me for breaking appointments- no wait, being late for them, and she does it on a regular basis. my dad - selfish, self-centered.. ugh! when we moved here he promised us rooms each. then he took one of the rooms for his office. now that he's planning to buy a house, he wants to kick us out of the nicest rooms and have his office there. ok. fine. he can do that, but i don't think he should make any promises if he's planning to do that. and hello? i'm supposed to keep my mouth shut and act like i'm happy but i really wish they'd respect me a bit. i'm not allowed to disagree with their opinions, i'm not allowed to do this, to do that, and i'm not growing any younger; i'm getting older. the older i get the more they expect and the harder they crack down on me. i lost all the freedom i had when i moved here and sometimes i feel so so so sick at this whole living arrangement. my parents practically jail me at home on the pretext of spending "quality time" but guess what i end up doing? housework. and now they want to go off to some golf tournament and break more previous engagements. i really couldn't care less but when i told my mum "i just think that it's not right you promise someone something and you break it for no good reason at your convienience." my dad told her to lie about it and i mean, yeah, here's another one of those things. mum can lie anytime she likes but if i lie, like..saying i practiced my piano when i didn't..she goes completely anal on me. so how should they expect me to respect them? my dad just started yelling at her because she's beginning to feel guilty about what i said, so now he's pissed at me because i have no right to say things like that.. UGH i could hurl; i feel so sick now. i just want to get back to singapore. extreme extreme homesickness to be somewhere i feel like i belong for some comfort.
